Monday, May 2, 2011

How Ya Like Me Now?

"Let the joyous news be
 spread, the wicked old witch
 at last is dead."
I hope everyone had a nice weekend.  As I sit down to write this, it has been announced that Osama bin Laden has been killed.  That is certainly a good way to wrap up a weekend.  I actually saw this on the news versus the way I usually find out stuff.  Facebook.  Most things I find out about because I see a bunch of people post on Facebook and then turn on the news to get the details.

I also saw firsthand the statement Obama just made regarding bin Laden's death as well as his speech at the Correspondents' Dinner last night.  Far as I am concerned, Obama is two for two.  If he wants the hat trick of wins, we'll see if he can get Donald Trump to cut his freakin' hair.  And lay off the self-tanner.

I had one friend dare Great Britain to try to take attention away from us.  No one's interested in your Royal Wedding (note the caps) now, are they?  And honestly, about time.  I only saw recaps and pictures, but that was  plenty.  It's great it was a lovely day, I am glad the couple seems happy, the bride looked beautiful and I was definitely interested in seeing the outfits and hats.  But now I am done.  Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie stole the show with their hats/outfits.  I am sure you have all already seen the pictures.  WTF??

I guess it would be in extreme poor taste to put up a picture of bin Laden's body propped up wearing Eugenie's hat.   Or better yet, the body propped up wearing a Donald Trump-inspired toupee.  I know, it's awful, but you know it would be funny.  Unfortunately, I do not have Photoshop, so you will all just have to use your imaginations.

Michelle told Seth it's funny
if he makes fun of Trump,
 but he will see what happens
 if he makes fun of her.
 So, back to the Correspondents' Dinner and Donald Trump.  Wasn't a good night for Donald.  First, the president gave him a few body punches.  Completely l-o-v-e loved the birth video!  THAT was funny!  A  jab at the big Apprentice decision-making Trump has to do was nice also a nice touch.  Enter Seth Myers for the finishing blows to the head and face.  He was brutal.  He let a lot of people have it, but Trump was his main focus.  All I will say is that I hope Seth Myers doesn't ever need anything from Trump, like a kidney, because that will never happen.

During the speeches, they kept panning to Trump to see his reaction.  I would describe it as "not amused."  But come on, he didn't see it coming?  If you are going to talk smack about the president and then show up at a dinner where the president gets to make fun of people and basically say whatever he wants under the guise of "joking," you can't be surprised.  And the hair?  Did you see it?!  They kept showing it from the side and you could see all the stuff from the top all flipped over, coming to a point in the back.  It was alarming.

I don't generally think it's nice to make fun of what people look like (what they wear is different), not everyone is thin and beautiful (or has hair), but the Donald invites this kind of ridicule.  People are constantly making fun of his hair and he still won't change it, just to prove a point.  What point is that?  That you refuse to take good advice from people that just want you to look better and not embarrass yourself?  That kind of refusal to listen to others isn't a good trait for someone that wants to run a country.  Just saying.

So, to summarize the weekend:

*Kate and Wills are married (lovely, but we're over it).
*Wills' cousins clearly have some sort of grudge against him (evidenced by attire).
*Osama bin Laden was killed by American operatives (good riddance).
*I had a friend suggest Trump would ask to see long-form death certificate (bahahaha).
*Obama was a crack-up at the Correspondants' Dinner (possible future in stand-up).
*Trump is a poor sport and probably bad choice for US president (there's no crying in baseball politics).

There is some wording
in this document
you may be unfamilar
with.  Wait until
you hear about it.

I know I said I would discuss what exactly the long-form birth certificate is and how my son is planning to file for emancipation, but I got distracted.  I promise - tomorrow.  Besides, with every passing day, Boy gives me more material.


  1. THIS was awesome!

    I agree with you on everything, especially DT's hair. Our president rocks, doesn't he?

  2. I want to see the Donald give a speech outside in a brisk wind.

  3. I think you forgot to mention someone's birthday...Just saying!

  4. My favorite Donkeys yet!!!!!

  5. Oh, yes, you forgot the beatification of JPII.

    I love the word "alarming."

    Will you still be Boy's parents when he makes his acceptance speech as president? I'm sure he'll mention the grandmother who took him in after the emancipation proclamation.

    Mother loves you.

  6. once again, who needs to turn on the t.v. I can get all my important 411 from you! Thanks for summarizing in such an entertaining way!


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