Monday, January 31, 2011

Troubling

Okay, so here is what's troubling me today.


It's extremely beautiful
Wait, before I go any further, I have to tell those of you who don't know me that I have a whistle.  What?  Yes, a whistle.  Like a referee whistle, only better.  It's better because my friend, knowing I wanted one, gave me one on a beautiful beaded and sparkly necklace, AND, she bedazzled the actual whistle.


I decided a couple of weeks ago that people were annoying me.  People in my house.  People out in public.  What better way to deal with this than just start blowing a whistle at someone who is being rude or loud or not listening or fresh.  My husband protested the idea vehemently and said there was no way anyone would agree with me.  Fast forward -I have a beautiful beaded whistle.  And lots of friends who are considering getting their own.


I don't even actually have to blow the whistle, sometimes I just pretend to hold a whistle to my mouth and pretend to blow.  Husband and children know it's a laugh riot but refuse to acknowledge.


Anyhoo, there are several things going on that warrant people getting a whistle blown at them.


First is my children.  They are being so annoying today I can't even stand it.  If my 15 year old son gives me one more tip on parenting his 13 year old sister, you are gonna hear the whistle from there.  And if the girl child doesn't keep her death glare to herself...I think her face may actually freeze that way and it would serve her right.


Please be sure to look in the comment section below where I am sure my mother will chime in what good children they are when they are with her.  Whistle.


your hair looks stupid too
Next - Charlie Sheen.  WTF?  Hearing about him and strippers or hookers or would-be models getting into some sort of problem isn't even news anymore.  Apparently, he is now in the hospital because his hernia (??) was acting up.  He had to be rushed there in the middle of his little party.  Whistle.  And smack.


And you know what?  A big whistle to all these women he's always with.  Based on the current information we have on Chuck, what makes you think hanging with him is a good plan?  It never ends well and no one has gotten famous for being involved in his escapades.  It's not a good career move.


I bet if Conchata Ferrell and Jon Cryer could get Charlie alone in a room they would beat the snot out of him.  They wouldn't whistle at him, but I bet they'd have a place they'd like to shove the whistle.


So, done with Charlie.  Onto Boy George.  What?  Yes, Boy George.


Just Say No!
Get your 2012 calendars out because Boy George, now free from prison, has announced that Culture Club is reuniting and gearing up for a world tour in 2012.  Whistle.


I wasn't even aware they had "broken up."  I thought they just stopped performing because no one wanted to see them anymore.  And because Boy George was so often busy cleaning streets as part of his work release.


And, to wrap it up, we are gonna have to give a big whistle to President Mubarak of Egypt.  Dude, things are not going well for you.  In the past there have been like 6 assassination attempts with your name on them.  That is a message.  Maybe try giving the democracy thing a whirl.  People are not big fans of oppression.  Just saying.


You should all be aware that because we discussed current events this counts as a serious and meaningful adult conversation.  You should feel free to act superior to your friends and family for the remainder of the day.

16 comments:

  1. :) Maybe I should start a whistle business? I mean, you make it sound like such a convenient option to screaming like an idiot, that everyone is going to want one! I'm happy you are enjoying it. Does Paul have a hit out on me yet??? Oh, and you're getting really good at this blog thing. Don't forget where the whistle came from when you're writing sitcoms. ;)

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  2. i have decided to use your blog as my go to source for world news, current events and culture...

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  3. i don't know which line made me laugh harder ... you whistling at your poor, sweet mother or telling chuck that his hair looks stupid. i'm still giggling ... in a meaningful, serious and superior kind of way =) and i am anonymous because i am technically challenged and haven't gotten my google acct yet.

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  4. LOL at the girl glare! Since my five year old is trying to perfect it now, she very well have that look frozen on year face by the time she is 13!

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  5. I SURE DO want a whistle! And I am SO acting superior every chance I get today. Yay me!

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  6. Everyone *NEEDS* a whistle!
    That said, notice how Terrie was the first to post and ensure she got credit for making the whistle?
    (Love you, T! And I'm not just saying that because I'm waiting for MY whistle. xo )
    Here's why you rock, Amy: where else can I find a blog about pesky teenagers, 80's pop icons, Charlie Sheen, and Egyptian President Mubarak, all in one handy snack-sized serving? Nowhere else, that's where!

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  7. This is totally my favorite blog yet! And not for nothing, but I *did* know that Culture Club had broken up. I saw Boy George in concert on a business trip to Minneapolis 8 years ago. And, yes, it was AWESOME.

    P.S. Damn Google account ... I refuse to be anonymous. Signed, your friend, PRG

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  8. Just to bring some British content to this: did you know that a 'Troubling' is the collective noun for a group of goldfish...you're welcome :-)

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  9. P, were you having trouble posting with your google account, too? I was the 'anonymous' comment right before yours. I thought it was just me being a spaz... but maybe Amy has inadvertently created some sort of technology vortex! Amy, can you get on this in your spare time? love and bug hugs, KMC xo

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  10. I have a whistle, but after seeing yours, I am now jealous and must have it on a bling-ed out chain. Then my students (and my own offspring) might take me more seriously.

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  11. Well, first of all, they DO act better when we go out. Live with it. AND, to quote the head donkey, "People are not big fans of oppression." Just saying.
    Love, Mom

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  12. Love this. Going to go find my whistle, since my own built-in whistler just inspires laughter.

    And yelling makes my throat hurt.

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  13. LOVE. THIS. BLOG. So funny. And so is your mom.

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  14. Oh. My. Gawd. HAVE to get ownself a whistle now. Or maybe a bedazzled airhorn.

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