Friday, July 29, 2011

Reasons Why There Have Been So Few DTC Summer Posts

At the end of June, after missing a few days of posting, I announced I was on summer hours.  That pretty much meant that I could do whatever I wanted.  Luckily, I do not depend on the income from this blog ($0) to afford food or pay my mortgage.

Here are some reasons why I have been slow with the posting.

1.  You are not the boss of me.  I can post whenever I want to.

When you tell me what to do, it's bossy.
When I tell you what to do, it's helpful.

2.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

3.  I am spending a lot time looking for my own 5-foot tall metal chicken.  I have already picked his name.  It's Raul Ibanez.  Not the Phillies one.  This Raul Ibanez is a metal chicken.  How would a metal chicken run for a fly ball in left field?  Clearly, it's a different Raul Ibanez.  I really like saying Raul Ibanez and really want that chicken.  The Party has only made a cursory effort to help me.  You see how I don't really have time for writing?

4.  My self-diagnosed Predominantly Inattentive ADD is currently winning against me.  It's a wonder I haven't already hit "post" and left you without the rest of the list or a closing of any nature.  Of course what you can't see is that I have left the post and checked Facebook and e-mail 17 times already and made a phone call.

5.  I have been trying to organize and purge crap in my house while it's summer and I have more time.  This keeps me very busy.  It takes a lot of work and energy to avoid the task if I am in the house or awake.  I have to constantly take naps and go out so I don't seem like I am just sitting around here loafing.

6.   There is not too much celebrity nonsense going on for me to write about.  Even Charlie Sheen seems to be on vacation from his World Tour of being a drug addled and/or sociopathic megalomaniac.  

7.  There is plenty of political  nonsense going on, but these people are so tiresome and wrong that I can hardly bear to listen to them, let alone comment on what they say and do.  I can't figure out if some of these politicians really believe their own crap, or they just want us to.

8.  There is nothing funny to write in regard to bathing suit season.  It's best if we all just suffer privately and silently and never speak of it.

9.  Summer is margarita season.  Enough said.

10.  Summer is also watermelon margarita season and blood orange margarita season and alcohol soaked fruit season.

11.  I am having a quiet contest with you.

12.  Okay, I really can't think of any more reasons why I haven't been writing.  Obviously, if I had tons to say, there would be a real post, wouldn't there?

Will be going to Virginia Beach for a few days with some girlfriends.  That should be lots of fun and be a wealth of material.

Please note that I have substituted actual content for an array of eye-pleasing colors for your viewing enjoyment.  You're welcome.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

It's hard to know where to start.  I think I will begin with the news story in hopes that it will show that other people have worse ideas than my teenager.  His idea wasn't all that bad, but it wasn't a sign of anything resembling sense.  My news story shows outright stupidity.  From everyone involved.  It also shows what not to wear, but that's for another post.

On the upside, she didn't
need to hire a
wedding photographer.
A 50-year-old bride was arrested on a felony warrant for identity theft.  Police had been tipped off she would be in town for her wedding.  Why Mrs. Einstein would come into town to get married when she knows the police are looking for her is a mystery.  I am only sad we didn't get to see a picture of the groom.  I am willing to bet that he did not have all his teeth.  Yes, I'm being judgmental, but that's what I bet.  Luckily for the bride, the courts seem to be even dimmer than she.  She was released on bond after being processed.  I know she may not be a danger to people, but being a flight risk is another reason bail is sometimes denied.  Hello!!  You couldn't get her to court for two years, but, you are going to let a defendant who lives out of state out on bail?  And, guess who didn't show for her court appearance a few days after her arrest?

In comparison, Boy's weekend seems just like teenage silliness.  Which, it really is, but gives quite a bit of weight to the studies that show a teen's brain isn't done growing yet and their judgement skill are lacking.  

So, the Reader's Digest version is that Boy goes to Delaware to stay with our favorite people so that he and "Bryan" (fav peep's same-age son) can go check out University of Delaware.  (Party and I and our DE friends all went to Delaware if you were interested in that piece of trivia).  Anyhoo, The Party and I couldn't go to check it out with Boy because we had to go to Visiting Day to see SB at overnight camp.

Fast forward to Sunday morning when we go to pick up Boy.  Before we even get to hear about the tour I see Boy pick up a box with three donuts in it and take the whole box...

Me:  Where are you going with the whole box?
Boy:  "Bryan" already ate his 3, so now I am eating mine.
Me:  You're eating 3 donuts?  (He rarely eats donuts, let alone 3 at once)
Boy:  They made fun of me when I said I only wanted two, so I have to eat 3.
Me:  You do not.  They don't care if you eat 3 or not.
Boy:  They'll make fun of me.
Me:  They will not.
Bryan:  I won't make fun of you.
Bryan:  I would ridicule you, but that's different.

Off Boy goes to eat 3 donuts (and PS, refused to give me a single bite of any).

Do you see?!?!
It's not good if your child
has things in common
 with Homer Simpson.
Now, I want you to imagine this is 2 years from now and he's a college freshman and substitute beer for donuts.  You see what my concern is, right?  We have just seen a "good kid" totally cave in to peer pressure from another "good kid" with both of them thinking it was a laugh riot.  Awesome.

Boy did like UD's campus.  The highlight for him was the squeezy ball he got from the Hotel Management booth.  He didn't get any information there; that line was too long and he certainly wasn't going to wait.  But, he got a ball, and that's important when you are trying to decide on a college.

In other sigh-worthy news, there has been a big uproar that presidential hopeful, Michele Bachmann, suffers from migraines.  What will happen if she is president and gets a migraine?  Oh no!!  That certainly seems like the most important thing to worry about.  Let's start analyzing her migraine history and completely ignore that she thinks you can pray the gay out of someone. WTF?  

The only other excitement here is that my allergies have been killing me.  I am all sneezy and itchy today.  What's most itchy is my nose, so I pretty much looked like a cocaine-addicted mental patient as I wandered around all day clawing and scratching at my nose.  My nose is always red anyway from rosacea and I am always trying to cover it up.  This wasn't helping.  You can imagine how fetching I looked by the end of the day.  The red watery eyes were just an extra bonus.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Trust Me, It's off the Record

She wouldn't let me take
her picture, so what choice
did I have but to post this?
Apparently, my blogging makes some people nervous.  Not exactly sure why.  I don't write anything that would embarrass anyone (except perhaps myself).  I recently had dinner with my cousin who kept saying "You aren't going to write about this on your blog are you?"  And she wouldn't let me take her picture.  I mean unless you are a politician or famous person who is doing something disgusting or stupid, you're safe.  Mostly.

I wrote on Facebook that my husband and son think my blog is biased against men and children.  That is total bullshit.  I am merely chronicling my life with these people.  Can I help it if when the truth is revealed it sometimes shows that men and children are troublesome non-cooperators?  No I cannot.  I simply try to offer a humorous and light-hearted view of life.  I am helping people to save thousands of dollars in therapy bills.  You're welcome.

Apparently, you CAN
get in trouble for
posting some things.
I will say, there are times when I would like to blog about people or situations (you didn't hear it here, but PTA on occasion)  but there is no way to do it without it being obvious about whom or what I am referring.  As mentioned before, I am a ray of sunshine and therefore would never do that.  I am forced to talk privately  about these things.  I mean if you can't trust your friends to talk privately behind your back instead of in public, who can you trust?

Moving on...guess what!!!!  I finally remembered what my little note about sandwiches meant!  There was a product in Pottery Barn Kids to cut sandwiches into cool shapes.  Cool until I realized that it cuts out about a third of the sandwich.  And, in the picture, they don't show the rest of the sandwich in the lunchbox anywhere.  Further, said lunchbox (a bento box no less) looks cool, but that would have lasted about a week with my kids before it was lost or broken or irreversibly smelly.  Oh yeah, and the other thing, you have to have the totally right shape bread for the sandwich cutter to work anyway.  If I was the sort to name names and talk about people, I would totally tell you which of the people at our school would use these products.

You can find this and other similar products
 in the Alpha Moms Rule The World catalog.

I found something that was surprisingly interesting.  Lady Gaga, who I normally can take or leave, commented on Howard Stern's show that girls/women should wait until their mid-twenties to have sex.  Very surprising coming from her, given her image.  The article then reports Dr. Laura Berman's (women's sexual health expert) response to that topic.  What the article is missing, however, is what Howard Stern had to say about that.  I can't imagine he just said "OMG Lady Gaga, I think you are so right."  I will say though, as a parent, I would be glad to have my daughter hear that Lady Gaga thinks being and looking and sexy is a whole different thing from having sex.  As much as I hate to, I'm going to have to give LG some love and maybe a few air kisses.

In today's Crazy News, an Illinois inmate is demanding 50 billion dollars and his own country for being wrongly arrested and having his civil rights repeatedly violated.  He has electronically filed suit.  I should mention that he was arrested originally for biting a police officer while he was being held in a mental health facility.  He has, on more than one occasion, been found incompetent to stand trial for an assortment of things.  Why is he in jail and not a Home for the Terminally Bonkers?  

If you squint,  Sarah
looks like Czarina
Alexandra.  And I
bet she already speaks
Russian too!

I mean let's get serious here, when the United States finally outlawed slavery, I don't recall the thousands and thousands of people whose rights were actually violated getting any money or countries, so right there it tells you this guy doesn't really have a grip on reality.  And further, he is willing to accept Alaska as the land he can turn into his own country.  I don't think Sarah is gonna for that at all.  No way she gives up her front porch view of Russia for some crazy guy.  Unless...follow along with me now...maybe he will make Sarah a czar or something.  That is way better than president and the new country doesn't have any history she has to remember, so it's perfect!!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

I'm Just Saying...

There are a lot of things that trouble me.  Things I don't think people take the time to think about and realize are issues.  Some of these things I just try to let go, but others I cannot.

Do you see what I'm saying?
The whole Asia/Europe?Africa
area is just a big cluster-f#$k
of countries/continents.

The continents.  They don't make any sense.  I am not a geography expert or anything, but when I took the time to really look at the map I see why Americans don't know anything about geography.  It's because nobody who's teaching geography knows what they're talking about.  All I remember learning is that the world is made up of 7 continents.  I even still have them memorized.  I also learned that a continent is big separate land mass.  As fate would have it, not exactly true.  And, apparently, science-y people don't even talk about continents anymore.  For accuracy purposes, the refer to different regions of the world.

People in Europe teach that there are only 6 continents; that North and South America are really one land mass. Is that so Europe?  Aren't you completely attached to Asia?  And, PS, ever hear of the Panama Canal?  North and South ARE actually two separate land masses now.  Further, I am not 100% convinced that Africa isn't also attached in a few places to Europe and Asia.

Who even came up with what was a continent and what wasn't?  Australia is a continent but Greenland isn't?  They seem to be pretty close in size and are both big separate land masses.  All of this is troubling to me because it's like somebody did a sloppy job mapping out and naming crap and we're all just sticking with it for no particular reason.  Probably the same reason we never were able to get on board with using the metric system.

I made a little note to mention something about sandwiches.  Obviously, I didn't write enough down, because I can't remember at all what my sandwich issue was, but I am sure it was something pressing and needing of our attention.  Trust me, you will be the first ones to know when I think of it.  Honestly though, I really can't imagine what about sandwiches I could have found troubling.

"creepy" and "ew" are
the only two things
I can say here.
I guess we'll move on then.  Disgusting marriage between the 51-year-old actor and the 16-year-old aspiring country singer.  I wrote about a week or so ago.  There's an update.  Her parents still think it's super.  They say she's always looked very mature and she says she's an old soul.  Also, she says that God has blessed her with the "beautiful gift" that is her husband because she's very Christian and "held on" to her virginity.  "Held on?!?!?"  She's 16!!  Held onto it since when?  Oh yeah and Doug Hutchison, the awesome groom, thinks they are a great couple because she is 16 going on 36 and he is 51 going on 21.  Is it just me, or does that not make it seem any better?  Also, he shrugs of the critics saying "I've been called worse than a pedophile in my life."  Really?  There's not a whole lot of room for worse with pedophile as your jumping off point.

Unless there is
$38,900 inside the bag
it's not worth 39k.
Why are people paying top dollar for Mary-Kate and Ashley clothes?  You used to be able to buy their designs at Walmart.  Now, all of a sudden they are the heads of The Row, an upscale design house.  Has no one seen how they dress themselves?  Why would you spend a ton of money to buy what they design for other people?  But, I guess if you want to be "cutting edge",  go right ahead.  You can currently spend $39,000. on their black faux croc backpack handbag.  Amanda Brooks, Barneys' Fashion Director says that as far as 39k bags go, this is really a good choice because you would totally get a lot of use out of it.  (I don't believe it's real crocodile, but I like to hope it's at least real leather, but  you never know).  I'll tell you what, I have a bargain offer for you.  For only 20k, I will carry your stuff for you and follow you around.  Let me know if you're interested.

I would like to discuss the headband situation in women's soccer.  Not sweatbands, that while ugly are useful, I mean the thin elastic headbands most girls wear to hold back hair that might fall out of their pony tails.  I was watching United States play Japan and was extremely troubled by the wealth of these headbands over the women's hair.  Mostly women with short hair, using the headbands to hold the front of their sweaty hair against their face and forehead.  I don't understand at all.  It looked stupid and what is the point of it??

Look closely, you can see
the top of SB's head
and one of her sneaks.

For those of you who have been wondering about my camp web site search for pictures of my daughter, you will be glad to know that I have spotted her playing basketball.  I think she looks extremely happy, don't you?

Currently, there is nothing else worrying me or bothering me.  Well, except now I still can't remember what bothered me about sandwiches, so that's kind of weighing on me.  The End.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Women - Awesome or Scary? Depends Who You Ask.

Obviously, women are awesome as a rule.  Kind of goes without saying.  But, women sometimes, once in awhile, occasionally do things that don't make the rest of us look too good.  On the other hand, those same things make some men stop a second and take pause, as if thinking to themselves, "Perhaps I should consider shutting my pie hole this one time."  Unfortunately, not enough men actually ever have that thought, hence the problem.

She does not look like a very
joke-y type.  I wouldn't cut
in front of her in the school
carpool line.  Just saying.
There is a new Lorena Bobbitt in town.  Her name is Catherine Kieu Becker.  She is one scary b*#ch.  She didn't just cut off her husband's penis.  She poisoned him to make him drowsy, tied him to a bed and then cut his penis off.  For extra good measure, she put it in the garbage disposal and turned it on.  It is reported this couple was estranged and going through a divorce.  I cannot imagine what made this man go to his wife's house for dinner if they were getting divorced.  Unless of course she has always been super quiet and nice and has been quietly taking all his crap and finally decided she would get even.  She called 911 for assistance afterwards and told responding police he "deserved it."

I would say that I am at like 98% with thinking this was just the wrong thing for her to do, no matter what.  Also, at least per the article, she didn't seem all that sorry or worried about consequences.  If I was a man, this would make me worry.  This is the kind of thing where a man might shake his head and figure you can't ever really know anybody, so you should really watch your step and try to not be too big of an ass.  As we know, most men will not think this way at all.  They are not known for internalizing cautionary tales.  I would also bet money that there a quite a few women who won't cringe at all at this story and will simply shrug it off, look at their man and say "and that's what you get."

As an aside, I am betting John Bobbitt will be popping up (well maybe not all of him) soon to extend his 15 minutes of fame (past his post-op porn life) and act as a one-man support group for our victim.  Too bad there really isn't a call anymore for eunuchs.

In news that makes women look awesome in a good way versus a scary way, we have the US Women's Soccer Team.  Even if you don't follow soccer  (I do not) this is one of those sports things where you should try to sort of keep up so you don't look clueless when everyone else is talking about it.  Don't worry how I know this will happen, I just do.  The US team won on Sunday 3-2 against Brazil (tied it at the very end of the game and won in penalty kicks).  I swear the Party told me this was the finals.  He said he didn't and that I think everything is the finals.  False.  You can imagine how surprised I was to hear they were playing again today.  He shook his head at me when I mentioned my confusion.  Anyhoo, they won against France 3-1.  NOW they will go to the finals.

You should really see it up
close and sweaty.
Beyond "ew".
In other sports (non-woman related) news that you should know, baseball is on a break.  During their break, they played the All-Star Game yesterday.  The National League won for the second year in a row and will therefore have home field advantage for the World Series.  I only watched the last couple innings, so I don't know if there is any important game news you should have, but just this will keep you from being mocked.  Oh - you could make yourself seem in-the-know by mentioning Giant's pitcher Brian Wilson, who closed the game for the National League.  You can mention his "this is what I would look like if I was a mental patient" beard that he has been growing for a full year and dyes black.  It's awful.  Awful.

I couldn't even find a
picture of an "adult"
refusing to even
TRY vegetables.

Unrelated to women or sports, I have an update for you from my last post about lying creatively encouraging your children to do things your way.  After The Party read the post, all he had to say was that I better not ever try to feed him/trick him into eating cauliflower.  Ever.  It's the most awful vegetable in both taste and texture.  I told him that strong of a statement only encouraged me to try to come up with a recipe with cauliflower to trick him.  He also admitted that even if he liked such a recipe he would totally change his mind  and insist he didn't if he knew cauliflower was in it.  Not that I would ever cut off any of his body parts, but you can start to see how that sort of thing happens, right?

Monday, July 11, 2011

Pants On Fire

So then, we can all agree that lying to children for as long as you can get away with it is good, right?  Wait, I will rephrase.  In order to avoid a fuss/meltdown/tantrum it is perfectly fine to be creative with the truth in order to get your child to do something you need them to do or is good for them.  Better, yes?

I know this is not what you usually hear from parenting "experts," but trust me, this is the way to go.  You only have a limited amount of time in your child's life where they will believe anything you say, and it's important to take advantage of it.  Don't misunderstand me, I don't think you should lie to your child about important things.  It would be wrong to tell your small child that you are still deciding if you are going to keep them or return them for a better-behaved model.  That's just mean.  Funny, and it might work, but too mean.

Do you want your
kid to go to jail?
Don't let him read.
What I am saying is that being a parent is extremely tiring and these people are put on the planet to work against us.  We have to use all the tools in our parenting arsenal to help them grow into lovable, cooperative, non-criminal, well-nourished, employable human beings. 

When kids are small it is much easier to fool them because they don't have a lot of life experience.  They will pretty much go with what you say.  At least the first 3 or 4 times.  As your child gets older, it's a lot harder to sell them on whatever it is you are trying to convince them of.  You know why?  Because they learn to read.  You people who help your kids learn to read at 3 or 4...poor planning.

Allow me to be more specific.  In a past post A Rose By Any Other Name, I gave some examples of how you can re-name food to get kids to eat it.  They don't like unfamiliar words or ingredients.  But if you give something a cool name, then they want it/ might try it.  Food companies try to do this as well.  They try to market a healthy/healthier food by making the package look similar to the original.  This is great - if your kid can't read.  Kraft just came out with a mac and cheese that has cauliflower in it.  It supposedly tastes just as good/the same as its regular mac and cheese.  Awesome.  A serving of vegetables hidden in delicious mac and cheese.  Awesome, that is, if your child doesn't catch wind of the cauliflower.  If even one of your children can read the box and see the word cauliflower, they are going to insist to you (and get siblings to agree) that you can totally taste the cauliflower and that it's yucky.

There is never going to be a scenario where a child sees there is cauliflower, tries it willingly anyway, and then announces "OMG Mom, you're totally right, this tastes just as good."  It. will. never. happen.  Never.    The actual product has to look the same as well.  That "white" wheat bread that tastes perfectly fine with pb & j on it?  No sale.  It is not perfectly white and therefore it tastes different and wrong and is inedible.  You might as well keep your "white" wheat pasta as well.  Or, you can buy it, cook it, and then throw it in the trash.  Your choice.

Do you see these look
nothing alike?  You can't let
them see the box!  Ever!
The only way vegi-enriched anything is gonna sell to a kid is if the box looks EXACTLY the same and there is no mention of anything healthy lurking inside.  That of course poses a problem.  How can a company let you, the parent, know that their product will help you get some actual nutrition into your child without your child knowing?  Secret Codes, that's how.  The company must make a completely identical box with just a little picture or two in the corner.  It will look like package decoration to an unsuspecting energy drain child.  You can look up on line what the symbols mean.  After one or two times,  you'll know the codes and won't have to look them up anymore.  You know, it is truly amazing I have not been snatched up by a marketing company and  paid a gazillion dollars.  My ideas are gold.

Aside from healthy eating, it is important/acceptable to be creative when dealing with a situation where your child may whine or complain or cry and you are not in the mood to hear it.  This becomes harder to do once your child learns math/to tell time, so keep that in mind as you are whipping out your Baby Einstein flashcards.  If something, like a car ride, is going to take a long time, you can tell a small child the ride will take Toy Story 3 and a Sing-A-Long video until you get there.  Problem solved.  An older child may see the road sign that says your destination is 95 miles away.  If he has been able to figure out any point that a mile= a minute, then he's going to know that you are full of crap when you tell him the ride is "about and hour."  If this happens, just insist that your child misread the sign and that it wont take as long at 95 minutes.  Rarely will your kid think to look at the time and keep track that carefully.  And if he does, just tell him he is remembering the wrong time. Bring snacks you wouldn't normally allow as a distraction.

These children are happy in
the car because their
parents loved them enough
to lie to them.
For those of you who feel strongly "honesty is the best policy," perhaps if you realized the importance of happiness and family harmony you would re-think your position.  Picture, if you will, a child refusing to eat his cauliflower mac and cheese.  He gets in the car for a long trip, already crabby and hungry.  You tell him the trip will take almost 2 hours.  You offer an apple as a snack.  Or, you can ride in the car with me and my lied to, but cauliflower-fed, kids and nap peacefully while they watch their videos and don't realize how long they have been in the car until they have run out of videos, chocolate, chips and juice boxes.  

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

People Never Cease To Amaze

Maybe I haven't written
because I was busy doing yard
 work.  You don't know.
Hello Friends!!  I can't believe it's been almost a whole week!  I have indeed been working on what I am calling "summer hours," but a week is just too long.  We did go away for a few days, so I am going to say that is what the hold up was, not my procrastination tendencies.

As usual, when I go through the news stories I almost don't know what to say.  Of course, it's me, so I find something, but still...what is wrong with people!?!?  Some of this stuff you can't even whistle at because the offender is so far from having a grasp on reality that they would just think you were some sort of whistle-crazed menace.

Everyone is up in arms over the Casey Anthony not-guilty verdict.  Since discussion of it is all over the place, I won't belabor the point too much, but that is just too effed up.  You have to figure the jury would have done anything to come back with a guilty verdict, so they must truly have not had the evidence they needed to do so.  I mean who wants to be the person who let her go?  The big "but" here is that it just does not seem right that a person who let her child be missing for a month before reporting it should now go on about her life without some kind of supervision.  Or maybe further mental health evaluation.

I think this next thing stuns me even more due to it's absolute absurdity.  There is a jail inmate in Michigan who filed a (handwritten) lawsuit claiming that he is being subjected to cruel and unusual punishment and his civil rights are being violated because...wait for it...he is not allowed to have porn.  Without the erotic materials he is being denied, he is being subjected to a "poor standard of living".  How about this, don't rob banks and you won't have to go to jail.  Poor standard of living problem solved.

Mom-in-a-Million just posted a link that reports that Michelle Bachmann's husband says, among other things, that homosexuals are "barbarians."  Awesome.  You can check out the whole article, but essentially, he can join India's Minister of Health, who called homosexuality a disease, in fighting for the title of biggest ass of the week/month/year.

I didn't want to post a
picture of Bachmann
 or Duke and this
looked yummy. 
While on the topic of presidential hopefuls, white-power advocate, David Duke is considering running for president.  Just to clarify, he would be seeking the GOP nomination.  In case you were unsure.  I have to tell you, I bet Obama does a little happy giggle dance every time a new GOP hopeful shows up.  I mean, really!  Are you going to tell me that among moderate, "normal" republicans there is not one person stepping up to the plate?  Trump is even starting to look good at this point.  You know what?  I bet he is even starting to reconsider.

In less political, but still important news, Facebook is poised to make an "awesome" announcement today.   Something about connecting the chat feature with Skype.  All I know is that every time Facebook "improves" things it takes me weeks to figure out where stuff is, how to use it and to reset all my privacy settings so prison inmates can't find me.  No thank you.

In Australia, an elderly woman (would have been 87 next month) was found dead in her home.  And by dead in her home, I mean dead in her home for 8 years and no one noticed.  Her government check has gone into her bank account the entire time and the account has been untouched.  Apparently, this inactivity was not a red flag of any sort to the bank.  The only person she was in contact with before her death, 8 years ago, was a sister-in-law.  They had a fight (believed to be shortly before the woman's death) and weren't speaking to each other.  No one noticed this person missing for 8 years until the sister-in-law told police she had tried to get in touch with her (we don't know why) and couldn't.

I bring this up to you because, rather than feel sorry for the deceased woman, I want you to take away an important lesson.  That lesson is that if you are going to be a crabby, unpleasant, miserable, combative sort, you are going to be dead in your house for 8 years and no one will find you until they need something from your house.  True, I don't know for sure this woman was that way, BUT, while she was living she only spoke to one, non-blood-related, person who wasn't even alarmed when the woman stopped talking to her.  

You should all try to be a
ray of sunshine, just like me.
I am just telling all of you that you should try to be a little nice and be sure to leave your house on a regular basis so people will notice if you're missing.  That's all.  I'm just trying to help you, I'm not accusing anyone of being difficult.  You might ask yourself why you are getting so defensive.

In summary, people are stunning and defy explanation.  It is best to try to avoid the most amazing of these people.  But, you should not avoid too many people or well, you know, I just explained it to you.

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