Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Yeah? You And What Army?

I have a way with people.
For those of  you who don't know me, I am not sure if you will be surprised to know that I do not like to be bossed around.  I know.  No one likes to get bossed around.  But, some people are not so sensitive about it.  Some people just kind of go with the flow if what they are being asked or told to do is not all that troubling to them.  Not me.  It's all about the principle of the matter.  I am not just going to do something because someone says to.  Especially if they are all snooty and know-it-all about it.  And no, I don't think this makes me childish or immature (and you're a big stupid head if you think it does).

Oddly, I was actually always a very good employee.  You wouldn't think I would have been given that just the nature of working for someone else means you have to do what someone else says.  No really,  I was pretty successful at all my jobs, even as a teenager.  I even had work friends and people liked me.  I guess that's one of those mysteries of life kind of things.  A conundrum if you will.

But back to me (oh wait, we hadn't left), my lack of wanting to be told what to do has, on occasion, caused the tiniest bit of tension between The Party and me.  This is in part because I sometimes don't like his tone.  And because I refuse to agree with him (just on principle) if I don't like his tone or attitude. So, before I go any further, I think we can agree that part of the problem here is Party, not just my aversion to being bossed.

I will give you an instance of where perhaps if The Party had been a little less bossy things would have gone more smoothly.  Just to let you know, this happened almost 20 years ago, but I bring it up because it's a perfect example.  Also want to let you know that Party is still a good chunk of bitter over it and is still waiting for me to apologize.  "Not gonna happen my friend" (50 points for whoever knows what show that is quoted from).

This "supposedly" isn't
supposed to be used on cars.
So, the Reader's Digest version is that after an ice storm which closed the city as well as the highways for 2 days, we finally can get out and go clean the ice off our cars.  (Please note that I was newly married, but my car at the time was purchased solely by me prior to getting married).  There is better than an inch of solid ice all over the cars.  We have our defrosters on and we are scraping the ice off the hood and side windows.  Realizing that I would still be there to this day if I had continued that way, I went and got the metal hoe we used to chop ice on the walkway.

The Party sees me approaching my car with said hoe and in a mean, know-it-all, nasty voice tells me I cannot chop the ice on my car with it because it will scratch my car.  I tell him it won't.  He insists it will and tells me again not to do it in a bossy, mean way.  Cursing and name-calling ensue (mostly on my part).  I chop the ice off my car and go to work.

A day or so later when all the ice has completely melted, we see that across the hood of my car are about 15 or so 6-inch hoe dents/scratches.  The Party is furious and insists that just shows that I should be the one to apologize because I didn't listen and now the hood is a disaster.  Uh, wrong.  The issue here is that The Party was bossy and nasty to me and had no right to tell me what to do, especially in that tone.  You all see that, right?  If you are interested, we are still at something of an impasse regarding this matter.  Feel free to comment below to let Party know that you agree with me.  Ignore whatever comment my mother writes that will surely be in support of Party.  She is known to play favorites and is biased against me.

Oh look - they wrote a book
about The Party.
Many of my friends already know this story, but I don't think anyone truly understands that the hood of the car being scratched is not my fault, it's Party's.  He was bossy and rude, thus setting the entire fight and car scratching into motion.  I don't like being bossed around and had no choice but to ignore what he was saying. I cannot be expected to cave in and do things someone else's way just because they say so.  The fact that he ended up being correct, that the hoe would scratch the car, is not germane.  No, it's not.

I suppose some of you are wondering, how after such an incident (and subsequent similar incidents), we are still married.  Please refer to "Get to Know DTC" - I AM A RAY OF SUNSHINE!!!  Sun-shine!!

I think the way for me to avoid being bossed around in the future would be if I could get made queen of somewhere.  I think my next post will address why I don't understand England's steadfast commitment to maintaining a royal family.  That said, if they are going to insist on having one, there has to be some way I can get in on it.  I can curtsy and wear an ugly hat just as well as any one of them.


  1. I, like you, refuse to cave when bossed. This would also result in my having hood dents and scratches, and it being someone else's fault. I agree, the fact that Party was right about the dents is completely irrelevant. All that really matters is that you're not going to be bossed.

  2. thank you Tea - I appreciate the support. Glad to see my point was clear. :)

  3. I can't wait to read your mom's comments on this ;)

    And yes, you are a ray of sunshine. I can see you shining from here!

  4. We must've been separated at birth. Your story makes COMPLETE sense. It's Party's fault because he used the mean/snotty tone with you, which he should know makes you angry, and that, in turn, inhibited your ability to determine FOR YOURSELF that using the hoe was not a good idea. Entirely.His.Fault. I am great at the blame game. :)

  5. According to the Women's International Dictionary - the definition of a word or phrase changes according to the tone of voice and also by the gender of the speaker.

    Men are not privy to this particular volume of knowledge. They will never win.

  6. I'm surprised there was no mention of some of your favorite quotes in the post:
    "you are not the boss me" Heard many a time said to the Party and "if I were in charge of everything....(fill in the blank). Also may I say YAY!! Finally a post this week. Where have you been, my friend? I was missing you. xoxo VP, Party's fan club. VP,PFC

  7. Ha! Same here. The one way to make sure that I'll do something to bossily instruct me not to do it. "You will not do that." will be met everytime with "Wanna bet?" Maybe that's where my kids get it from. Damn.

  8. Well, first off, you are already the queen of somewhere. Location differs according to your mental state.

    Then, didn't the EXACT car incident happen recently with your brand new car? Whatever happened to "Once burnt, twice learnt," as your grandmother was wont to say?

    Last, but not least, you are my ray of sunshine, even if you do ride the "special" bus.

  9. ...and don't delete my comments! You are not the boss of what I say.

  10. the EXACT same thing did not recently happen with my new car! That was completely different and unrelated and completely accidental. Even Party knows that.

    And - I could delete your comments if I wanted - that's the beauty of being me.

    So glad to see that I have surrounded myself with the right kind of people who understand how things are. All except anonymous who does know me very well, but refuses to leave the dark side (Party Fan Club) to join forces with us normal people. xo

  11. I refuse to be bossed while driving- just because my party grew up around here doesn't mean he can boss me about "the best way to get there.". Another one that still makes me laugh is him telling me my grass mowing lines aren't straight ( i mowed as curvy as possible after that statement)

  12. Regards from your friend Allie who was known to scream at the age of 2, "you can't boss me!!!!!!"... Difficult, but beautiful rays of sunshine.. is there a club for that?

  13. My dangly bits don't quite allow me to understand how that particular case is Party's fault... but I enjoyed reading it. I am often the same way, flat out refusing to do things until I am asked nicely...

  14. I have a different syndrome, although it's similar: "Cite your source." If my hubby and I get into it over ANYTHING, I can guarantee maximum frustration by uttering that one short sentence. He always busts out with, "I saw an article!" And my next response is, "Produce a copy, and we'll discuss this further...*smile*"

    Yes, I'm evil. But it works.

  15. Pick a place, and you shall be Queen. I'm Queen of my master bathroom. It's the only (relatively) testosterone-free zone in my house, therefore penises are not allowed to use that 'throne'.

    As for bossing, well, bossing gets people around here sent to bed early, allowances cut off (including The Man), no home cookin' and no flipping dishwasher. As. Freaking. IF.

  16. Caitlin - I love that and cannot wait to use it!!


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