Monday, May 9, 2011

Weekend Wrap-up

My last post (Don't You Have Anything Else To Do?) was on Friday.  Personally, I thought it was a hoot (you know I crack myself up).  Friday evening, when he came home, The Party told me he read it and that I should not focus my blogging attention on the kids and him.  Hello...that crap's funny, of course I'm going to write about it.

"I didn't say it wasn't funny, I said you're not supposed to write about us."

"Why?  You know you think it's funny and I am not saying anything untrue or mean or too personal."

"But you're making fun of us."

"No I'm not.  I am simply stating what happens around here.  How is that making fun of you? 

Eye roll from The Party and then he walks off talking about when he has a blog...yeah okay, now I'm worried.

'I' would never
make fun of
my kids like this.
The boy is also making noise about how he's going to start a blog about how mean I am.  Not worried about this one either.  Boy's main focus currently (besides his emancipation threats) is that I am mean to Donald Trump and Sarah Palin.  Yes, he thinks a Trump/Palin ticket would be awesome.  He is basing this solely on my thinking that it would not.  He is personally offended that I would make fun of the two of them.  It's also awful of me to mock Trump's hair.  Honestly, I think it's awful for Trump to make us look at that hair.

Boy is also spouting conspiracy theories that Obama purposely waited until the middle of The Apprentice to announce bin Laden's death, thus interrupting the show.  Clearly, there is no point in arguing with him; he is just trying to annoy me.  Why doesn't he put some of that energy into actually finding out something useful/real about any of the presidential hopefuls and then developing a real opinion?  Oh wait, I know why, because that would not bother me.

SB's only beef with the blog (which she has never read and doesn't care about) is that she heard me say that I call her SB.  She's all worked up that people will know it's her; that it's not really a code name.  Settle down, only people that already know you and know who I am talking about will know it's you.  Strangers won't know.  I could use your real name and strangers still wouldn't know it was "you."  "Oh." was the response to that and she went on her way, still disinterested in the whole thing.  Right now, the only thing she cares about knowing from me is if I pre-ordered her Justin Beiber "Never Say Never" DVD so that it will be here as soon as it's released.

I think her white dress
 looks a little like a ruffly
towel.  Just saying.
In news outside my house, the world is obviously once again at peace.  I say this because there is only Not News happening in the news.  If there was something important going on, I am sure that would be in the headlines.  Instead, there is an article about Pippa Middleton (so not feeling that name) being photographed sometime in the past "topless."  Looks a lot like it could be a bikini top to me.  And, when I hear "topless" I think naked on top.  Article also shows second picture of her partying ways.  This picture is of her "surrounded by alcohol."  There is a table in the foreground with bottles and glasses.  She's not near it, and doesn't look drunk and isn't drinking in the picture.  Snore and whistle.

Twice this weekend I saw reports of how David Beckham was in a car accident, but wasn't hurt.  The the other person involved was only minorly injured.  How is that news?  Whistle.

In Stupid News is the 1st grader in Kansas who was mauled by a leopard on a school zoo field trip.  Please go check this out and tell me how this kid got all the way over to the leopard without anyone seeing him or noticing he wasn't where he was supposed to be?  It's like a 10-step process for him to get to the animal.  When you read the piece, if you know anyone who goes to that school, maybe let them know that they shouldn't send their kid on any field trips with these people.  They're not so good with the supervision.

Why are all those
photographers taking
 pictures of her ass?
Lastly is this picture of Beyonce.  There is no story to go along with it.  I just don't see how she got anywhere in that dress.  Really.  How is she supposed to walk?  Her legs are straight-jacketed in.  All I can picture is her shuffle shuffle shuffling along with little tiny baby steps.  That doesn't seem very glamorous.

Oh wait - a real last thing.  I had a wonderful Mother's Day.  Great cards and gifts and didn't have to do anything I didn't want all day.  Even got a nap.  I hope all the rest of you moms out there also enjoyed yourselves and got to do all your favorite things.


  1. Sounds like your family has the same problem that mine does. WTF? We use secret superhero type names for them and don't post embarrassing photos. What more do they want? If we can't talk about our families to complete strangers, who can we talk to?

  2. I fear that I am coming to rely on you for my morning news roundup! I have so much more "small talk" for my social life now. Thank you! And please tell The Party that those who don't have the slightest idea who you all are in real life are laughing WITH him not AT him. Because we are identifying with how that exact thing occurs in our households that we may have found annoying rather than hilarious. But you make us see the funniness of it and therefore we are happier people. So you provide a service. And by being a good sport about it he is providing a service as well!

  3. Lol, I saw a video clip of Beyonce in that dress, it was pretty funny. She had to have help getting up the stairs.
    It's a good thing I'm not a celebrity because I could never be a slave to fashion. If I'm not comfortable in it, I'm not wearing it!

  4. Dulcibella - I WILL tell The Party that he is doing a public service. I might, however, have to tell him that we are laughing a little AT him, not just WITH him (it's more fun for me that way). He has STILL refused to thank me for immortalizing him in print. Stunning.

    Heidi - I could only be a celebrity if I could be a slave to pajama pants.

  5. Thanks for making Mother's Day special! You are a great mother and an AWESOME daughter.
    Love, Mom


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