Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Who Doesn't Love Jury Duty?

I bet everyone would
fight to have a turn at
jury duty if it worked
this way.
I had to go to Jury Duty today.  I actually had to go.  I was a little incredulous.  For the last 10 years, any time I have gotten a summons, I always got a last day reprieve.  We have this great system where you call the day before and they will tell you if you have to show up the next day.  Awesomeness.

I don't really mind the idea of jury duty, it just interferes with whatever else I was going to do.  Plus, having had jury duty in Philadelphia, I just knew the whole thing was going to be an unpleasant, uncomfortable, yucky experience.  You know what?  Not so much.  I did not end up getting picked for a jury, but for the 3 hours I was there, I can't really complain.  Two thumbs up for Montgomery County.  They give you tons of directions of where to go and when.  They give you free parking.  They let you use your phones and laptops.  There are vending machines and a coffee shop.  There are clean bathrooms.  Everything was the exact opposite of Philadelphia. 

In Philadelphia (where I used to live), they basically tell you to sit down, don't touch anything and don't make any noise.  It would seem that no one told the jury commissioners about the whole city of brotherly love thing they are supposed to be going for.  They warn you like 20 times that if you leave before you are dismissed there will be a bench warrant issued for you.  There are no bathrooms you would particularly want to use.

I drew hair because
I could, and so you
 could picture my
guy better.

The other bonus of Montgomery County?  Only two freaks.  And only one of those actually looked like a freak.  Thankfully he was on the other side of the room from me.  He looked like he might have left his house in 1970 to get to jury duty.  Army jacket, longish scraggly hair and, the best part, a mustache that connected to his sideburns.   I looked up the mustache and it seems this guy might have been a time traveller.  His jacket and hair looked very 70s, but his mustache was popular during the civil war.  Now I kinda wished I had paid closer attention to him.  Wait!!  Maybe he is in some kind of purgatory where he is forced to do jury duty throughout all eternity. 

The other freak was the lady who entered the building before me.  She looked pretty normal.  She was kind of tiny and was carrying a giant leather tote bag that had to weigh at least as much as she did.  She also had a big insulated bag with what appeared to be a week's worth of food.  Apparently, she's never been to the airport or had to go through a metal detector and became immediately jumpy and nervous.  She can't find her jury summons.  She doesn't quite understand what the guard means by "Put everything from your pockets in this basket."  She seems afraid to put her big bag down (I think for fear the child she kidnapped and hid in there might try to make a run for it).  She can't understand why her life-supply-of-food bag has to go through the detector.  Then, once she's got everything on the table...wait for it...she walks AROUND the metal detector instead of through it.  The guard, who to his credit, remained pleasant and patient, nicely told her she had to go through.  That also confused her.  You can imagine my relief when, later, I was not called to be on the same panel she was.

While I was away during the day, the only news seemed to be that Whitney Houston was heading back to rehab for her drug and alcohol problems.  She's not saying she's using again, she just needed 42 days of day-treatment where she is supervised when she goes home.  In that same vein, I just read in "People" that Bobby Brown has been sober for 6 years, but still drinks (he said he's off drugs).  Maybe he and Whitney were such a good couple because neither one of them quite gets what "sober" means.

Speaking of coke, I found an article celebrating 125 years of Coke.  I am giving you the link because there's a bunch of recipes in there that call for coke which sounded good.  They did leave out the recipes people are always passing around for using Coke for things like rust removal and getting car oil off your driveway.  Probably for the best in regard to marketing and continued FDA approval.

Tomorrow I think we will discuss why Bristol Palin no longer looks anything like Bristol Palin.


  1. I don't do Coke. I do Pepsi.....and if you put a knife with cream cheese on it into a glass of Pepsi in the sink (not that I normally have dirty dishes in the sink, just sayin') it will eat the cream cheese off the knife. Pretty cool, huh? Oh, wait, not really....
    Thanks for sharing your jury duty experience! It sounds lovely!

  2. I know the lady who was in front of you for jury duty!!!!

  3. MOAL - LOL - as long as you don't tell me it was you. :)


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