Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It's Okay, You Can Have Them

I am not sure or not if that
 is nicer than saying I'm
bat crap crazy for you.

As you all know, there is a lot of crazy going on lately.  Charlie Sheen has announced he's technically Jewish.  All I could think was that people of all other religions were a giving a fist-pumping "Yes!  He's not one of us!"  I am pretty sure though, that like myself, Jewish people around the world were thinking "No!  You don't get to say you're Jewish NOW."  You can't win for craziest person on earth and THEN say you're Jewish!  We don't need that kind of publicity.  Honestly, we'd rather you be anti-semitic.

This of course got me thinking that if Jewish people aren't thrilled with this (and yes, I am speaking for all Jewish people despite not actually having polled them all, but I'm feeling pretty confident), then other minorities probably have some people they'd rather not claim too.  I am telling you this right now black people (or African American, if you prefer), OJ Simpson is yours.  You know Adam Sandler already sung about it; he's not one of us.

We don't want OJ or Charlie because we have plenty of people that make us cringe when we hear what they've said or done.  They are even sometimes the reason there are still people who are prejudiced and believe stereotypes.

Allen, Previn, thier kids and
Dylan Lauren. Woody is older
than the other 4 put together. 
I have listed a few  people who go against one of my personal policies, which is, "if you can't be a help, don't be a hindrance."  At the very least, these people need a whistle. And smack.

Woody Allen - yes, very lovely that you are so talented and prolific.  You dated your girlfriend's daughter and then married her.  If that is not yucky enough, you are nearly 36 years older than she.  I can't blow my whistle loudly enough.

Mayim Bialik - our old pal Blossom.  Blossom, who has a PHD in something really smart, recently wrote an article about her parenting (or non-parenting, I would say) technique.  A couple other bloggers have written about this already, but I had to mention it because it's so condescending you just want to smack her.  At the very least, you are not going to want to be at a restaurant when she's there with her kids.  You can go read it and see.  She doesn't really give a bad name to Jewish people as a result, but it annoys me that she's Jewish because I wouldn't want anyone to think the rest of us are quite so goofy (or do whatever it is she's doing with her bangs).

bluntcard is a riot!!  How
did they know about
Blossom's hair?

Of course, using that argument we wouldn't want to be associated with Adam Sandler either, but he's kinda funny and basically harmless. 

Bernie Madoff - biggest whistle, smack and kick in balls ever.  Jewish man, in finance, who cheated a whole lot of people out of millions and millions of dollars.  People lost their life savings.  He even stole from charities.  Could he be any bigger of a stereotype?  Ugh.  Beyond cringe-worthy.

Don't get me wrong, I know not everyone just lumps people together and blames a whole race or religion or nationality for the actions of one person.  But, you know, it doesn't hurt to try to make a good impression.  It's the same thing as being part of a family, but on a larger scale.  If one of my kids is not wearing a heavy coat to school when it's 4 degrees out, people are going to wonder about my parenting (even if it's really a reflection of my husband's parenting which I think would be obvious, but whatever).  They aren't going to assume that my children are independent of our family.  People will be taking names and making notes.  We will all get grouped together as the weird no-coat family.

So our overall lesson for today is whether you are a serial killer or just a big jackass, you are embarrassing your parents and whatever other group you are associated with - so cut it out.  Or, at the very least, change your name and wear a disguise.


  1. Your last paragraph sums it up perfectly. Bravo! Let's hide all the craziness!!

  2. What can I possibly say?

    Of course, my children are the perfect reflection of my superb parenting despite tremendous (at times) odds. (Odd being the operative word here, I guess.) If I can do it, then anyone can.

    Your mother loves you.


Popular Posts