Thursday, March 3, 2011

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

This is back when
celebs were fun-crazy.
Today I will be giving the World Crazy Report.  It's like the World News Report except with crazy instead of news.  I am giving this report in hopes of getting support that these people are indeed crazy, not me.  I mean you and I would not do what these people do and have the gall to act like our behavior is normal.  Okay, we would try to if we thought we could get away with it, but we know we can't. 

To update you on our pal Charlie (let's file this under "Really?  You don't say"),  you should know that a judge issued a restraining order on Tuesday to keep him away from his wife/ ex-wife, whatever she is, Brooke Mueller.  In addition to that, while the order is in effect, he has lost custody of his twins with Brooke and they were removed from his house where they were being cared for by him and his two "goddesses."

I think he is still holding his
breath here waiting for CBS
to apologize to him.
The restraining order was issued apparently after Charlie told Brooke he would cut her head off, put it in a box and send it to her mother.  Aside from being a horrible thing to say, it's not even original.  It's right out of the movie Seven (Brad Pitt/ Morgan Freeman).  I think this kind of cements a little bit that Charlie is not really participating in the same reality as the rest of us.  PS - he still looks pretty bad.

What I will report to you, that you may not know, is that the entertainment world is going crazy as a result of Sheenapalooza.  Below is a list of celebs who are desperately trying to get the attention back on themselves, to no avail.

1.  Christina Aguillera - arrested for drunk riding.  She wasn't driving, which is good, but as a passenger she was so drunk the police had to take her into custody until she sobered up and could walk and communicate.  Snore.  Can't touch top story.

2.  Theodora Richards - newcomer award for trying.  Keith Richards' 25 year old model daughter was arrested for graffiti and having pot and another unknown substance.  Graffiti?  Really?  Are you in the 10th grade?  Whistle.  That's just nonsense.

How do you think they
got all that stupid
collagen out of her
lips?  Her face looks
normal here.
3.  Lindsay Lohan - points for trying to get attention without getting arrested.  Lilo is planning a book (where she will pose with ex James Franco) like Madonna's Sex book.  This apparently though, will be classier.  Given who we are dealing with, I don't see how.  Although this does not steal Charlie's limelight, Lindsay is getting 3+ million to do it, so still kind of a win for her.

4.  John Galliano - waaaayy bigger ass (to say the least) but lost the game of chicken.  Galliano came closest to unseating Sheen for all the media attention when he was video taped ranting at some couple that he loved Hitler and that their forefathers and mothers should have been gassed.  Dior, for whom he worked, fired him.  He lost to Sheen only because he has actually apologized for what he said.  Whether or not you believe he is sorry doesn't matter.  He had enough sense (unlike Charlie) to back away from what he said.  A whistle is too nice for him, but he certainly deserves a smack (or punch or kick).

So, as far as celebrities go, Charlie Sheen is still most crazy.  At this time.  But, I think we all know that if I start comparing his actions and comments to those of my children and their friends, he will be hard put to keep his title.  Please let's remember that it was Justin Bieber's birthday yesterday and it's been very Bieberific around here for days.  Even Charlie Sheen has no chance against a bunch of 13 year old girls for most crazy.


  1. You are not alone. I think they are all crazy!

  2. Jeez, Can we just plunk them down in the middle of Camden without their money and let them survive for a week? Maybe that would liven up their lives enough so they dont have to make all this freaking drama!!

  3. I know there has always been drama as long as there have been celebrities, but dear goodness. They are really trying hard this year. Definitely not the brightest bulbs in the box.

  4. The John Galliano thing is just heartbreaking. And yet, I can't stop consuming every word about it! One ... what a d*ck. Two ... unlike the other yahoos cited, he is insanely talented. Unfortunately, he is also just insane. Agreed - smack, punch, kick, may he never work again :( Now, let's be careful with my Lilo. We should know that I have a cuh-ray-zee crush on this girl and will never give up hope that she will find her way toward the righteous path. Then I will marry her. And we won't buy ANY vintage Dior.

    Finally - due to no fault of yours - I am always posting comments on here that don't "take." As I put a full minute of effort into these comments, I must be heard! Therefore, I am double posting (here and on FB). It's like double dipping. Minus the saliva. As far as you know.

    Your friend in smacking,

  5. Paulette,
    I was not aware of your love for Lindsay and will henceforth try to look at what she does with a kinder eye, but she's gotta help us out a little...

  6. Indeed. She does not make it easy. Nor do I want to stifle your creativity.


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