Monday, March 28, 2011


It is a very delicate balance in the mornings here at Chez Donkey.  Husband usually leaves by 6:30.  I get up and make lunch for the kids.  Boy, who gets himself up and moving, finishes and leaves at 6:55.  I wouldn't call him pleasant in the morning, but we can usually avoid any unpleasantness if no one says too much.  Next up is Soccer Barbie.  She gets up anywhere between 6:45 and 7 and has to leave at 7:37.

This woman is cheerful
in comparison to SB.
SB is not a morning person.  At all.  Since she was little, when she wakes up, she's a crabby mess and really needs a cup of coffee.  Word to the wise - don't ask her if she wants a cup of coffee, she doesn't think that's funny.  AT ALL!!  I really don't know what takes her so long to get ready in the morning.  She did use up a lot of time a few days ago flat ironing her PONYTAIL.  Yep, her ponytail.  She has straight hair. Moving on.

This past Friday, Husband decided, in the morning, he would work from home.  Awesome.  Now, I am glad that he has a job where usually a phone and a computer is all he needs to work from home and that he has the luxury of doing that pretty much at his own discretion.  But here's the thing, you can't just stay home and act like you belong here when you don't.  Yes, it's his house too.  Whatever.  Go to work.  Or, at the very least, don't wake up until everyone has gone.

Awesome for some
horrible for others.
This time, as Girl was getting ready to leave, he asks her isn't she going to wear a jacket? Oh My God!!!  Don't ask her any questions!!  And then, when she said no (because she is ridiculous) he starts to argue with her.  Are you kidding me!?!?  That's not how we roll in the morning.  Unless she is at risk for frostbite waiting for the bus, we just say "I think you are going to be cold," accept the death glare she sends our way, and say nothing else.  He's not new here.  He knows she's not her friendliest in the morning. He knows it's going to be unpleasant for everyone.  But, really, please go right ahead and poke the bear.

Okay, so now children are gone.  I go to get my coffee and head up to the computer before I have to get dressed and head out.  What's this?  Someone is in my way at the coffee maker.  And in front of the fridge.  And blocking the door out of the kitchen.  I was not aware that the "work" Husband was planning to do at home was to interrupt my quiet, peaceful morning routine.

Can you believe I
actually found such
a perfect picture?

I have my coffee (no thanks to Husband) and am at the computer checking e-mail and Facebook, seeing if I have any comments on here at DTC, playing a few games...what's that I hear?  Loudly.  Obscure "classic" country music.  One bad song after another.  How many songs that I don't like could possibly be on his iPod and doesn't he have like 50 sets of headphones?  And how can he do his work with the music that loud?

Please let me clarify.  It's not that I do not love and adore Husband.  He is all sorts of excellent.  We do not have these issues on the weekend.   My issue is weekday only stay-at-home-without-warning covert attacks.  I am not mentally prepared to re-focus my energy on someone who is either under or over-caffeinated (depending on the time of morning) and who gets some sort of perverse pleasure from purposely vexing me.

Thankfully, I was able to recover and the rest of the weekend was fun and ran as it should with people being in or out of the house when they were supposed to be.  Boy won his tennis match Friday.  Yay.  Girl's basketball team lost their playoff game, but it was a great game.  The score was 32-29.  A little bit yucky was the outdoor soccer tournament all day Saturday.  No thank you winter-like cold temperatures in spring.  The upside to the tournament was that it was in Delaware, so afterwards we got to visit with 4 of our favorite people.

Today's summary: 
1.  It is important to be resilient in the face of adversity.  My sunny outlook and belief that things would turn around kept anyone from needing medical attention.

2.  If your significant other thinks their good looks and charm keeps them from seeming annoying, despite their behavior, disavow them of that notion ASAP. 

3.  If you are going to a soccer tournament, pee before you get there or you will have to use a port-a-potty.


  1. A great read for a Monday morning! My husband threw my schedule off last Friday by deciding to come home for lunch. So I can relate. And my morning routine was drastically changed when my youngest went off to college last fall. So my mornings are pretty quiet now and that's not always a good thing. :{
    Sounds like a great weekend for you all. Except the port-a-potty.

  2. Thankfully, my Husband Fixture has learned that he must alert me to any possibility of working from home/staying home ahead of time. This way, I can calculate the disruption factor and plot a course to avert.

  3. Empress, mine does not work well with others and refuses to cooperate on principle. He thinks he's funny. Not. Whistle.


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