Wednesday, August 10, 2011

You Know What's Better Than A Whistle?

More whistles and a bell.  That's right, my collection has been expanded.  We had a party here the other day and my birthday was right after.  You know what that means...hostess and birthday gifts for me.  Yay!  I/we (I have to pretend the hostess gifts were meant to be host gifts as well so The Party doesn't feel sad) got lots of cool stuff.  I am afraid to name it all in case I forget something.  But, beaucoup awesomeness around here in the gift department.


ding ding ding
"Yes, I appear to need a 
beverage.  Off you go."
What I will tell you about, because it's related to one of our favorite topics, is the bell and the whistles.  This is not to be confused with "bells and whistles" which denote a level of high-end fanciness that is not present at Chez Donkey.  I got a bedazzled bell!  The kind on a store counter where you can ring for assistance, only better.  It is THE BEST!!!  My family is horrified.  The bell has a slightly different purpose than the whistle.  As you know, the whistle is meant to be something of a behavior modifier/bad behavior deterrent.  The bell is really for summoning people in a manner that lets them know you are more important than they are and expect them to stop what they are doing to see what they can do for you.  Like the whistle, it's good for home or away.  BUT, you should remember (should you get a bell of your own) that the bell should be used judiciously.  You don't want the police to find your body with the bell in an untoward location.  Just make yourself a little note so you don't forget.


The new whistles are also very fun.  My original whistle is fun and sparkly.  These are working whistle charms that attach to a faux pearl necklace.  It's essentially a black-tie accessory instead of just for every day.  It's so nice to have options.
See?  Fancy.
Beyond
outrageous!
Speaking of whistles...I have a big giant loud-as-I can-go whistle AND smack AND kick in the shin for Dan Snierson of Entertainment Weekly.  My brother sent me the clip to the right.  He said either Dan or I are stealing material.  I don't want to call Dan a big jerk/stealer, but if the shoe fits...  His list, which mentions the Olsen sisters' newest handbag at Barney's New York, is in the newest edition of the magazine and I wrote a similar caption in my post I'm Just Saying in July!!!  I am considering an e-mail campaign against him, but that seems like a lot of work.  It's way easier to complain here and try to get you guys not to like him either.


And, since we're talking about the Olsen sisters (yes, we sort of are, try to keep up), I want you to please tell me again why we are supposed to buy $39,000 bags and other high end clothes and accessories when the designer dresses like this?  (Look down.  On the screen, not in real life.  Good Lord).  The only thing she's wearing that's the right size for her is her dog.  Everything else is giant in a hand-me-down-from-a-grown-up sort of way.  It is nice, however, to see her with her hair combed.  
Those look A LOT
like Mr. McGoo's
glasses.
Let's see, what else should you know?  Oh!  stark.raving.mad.mommy.(who we love) gave me the best birthday present.  She linked my last post to her blog on Monday.  This meant that a kabillion people who usually have better things to do, came to hang out over here which made my stats go way up.  I really don't care that they will go back down in a couple days.  I can pretend that I was popular just because people liked my post and shared it with their friends, not because SRMM sent people here.  


Lastly, there is quite a bit of actual world news going on that we should probably discuss.  We do like to stay current.  So, tomorrow, come prepared to talk about the nonsensical and artificial nature of the rise and fall of the stock market as well as the riots in England that don't actually seem to have a unified cause.  I have to say, just writing those two topics makes me already feel more worldly and mature and sophisticated.  I am sure you feel the same way reading them, so we will probably be able to get through it quickly and move on to other things like Lenny Kravitz telephone picture I want to discuss with you.

17 comments:

  1. This was so much fun to read! xoxo (p.s. I'm eating ice cream from the carton. That may or may not have heightened the fun scale.)

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  2. Ice cream from the carton makes anything more fun. Duh.

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  3. I'm positive I need a bell. A sparkly, fancy bell.

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  4. Even her phone looks huge! Or maybe she just has itty bitty hands...anywho!

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  5. The Monsters' MommyAugust 11, 2011 at 8:43 AM

    I read that clip in EW and thought to myself - hey, DTC mentioned this the other day! I felt so in the know ;)

    BTW - I found you through SRMM some time ago, and I'm still here :)

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  6. Tea - Who DOESN'T need a sparkly, fancy bell?

    Monster's Mommy - LOL and yay! Glad you're here. :)

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  7. #1. Don't forget George Hamilton's skin cancer.
    #2. Why, do you imagine, is your brother reading Entertainment Weekly?
    #3. I find your social awareness has climbed way up since starting this blog.
    Love,
    Mom

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  8. 1. What does George Hamilton's skin cancer have to do with anything?

    2. That is like the 10th time you've mentioned #3. As I told you before, not really so, I just now have a place to mention these things.

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  9. I Love the idea of the bell, and that others, should stop what they are doing and see what WE need, that's hilarious, great post!!!

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  10. Donkey, you are COLD! I was just giving you some fodder for your unimportant world news dept. Geez!
    AND...I will not again mention that you are knowledgable about anything. Whistle, smack, bell!
    Love,
    Mom

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  11. I am sorry to inform you Mother that you are not authorized to use the whistle or the bell. Very sorry. Better luck next time.

    xo

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  12. Just got around to checking out your blog today. Funny and refreshing! I want a whistle...and a bell. But I'd get in a lot of trouble for using them at work....

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  13. Danita - I say live on the edge and take the bell and whistle to work. ;)

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  14. I am a recent arrival to the Donkey blog (may she ever prosper!), and I LOVE THE WHISTLE. With 5 kids, I find myself yearning for the bell now, too. (Bedazzled! HAH! Awesome.)

    I would also like to point out that what Dan Snierson did has a name; it is called plagiarism. He magically comes up with the exact same line (and dollar amount)as you, a few months after your post? (Okay, so maybe I'm paranoid, but that doesn't mean he didn't steal it...)

    On a semi-related note, I can't help but wonder why, with such a crack-tabulous HUGE bag on her arm, little Olsen girl is still clutching her water and cell phone in her bony fist?

    Also, regarding the riots: I laughed like an idiot when I read a tweet from a Waterstone's (booksellers) employee saying she hoped the rioters looted their store, because "they might learn something." I laughed even harder the next day upon reading an article about the previous night's riots, which stated that although several close-by stores were annihilated (Claire's, Phones4U, etc...), the Waterstone's was left completely unscathed. I just figured you might like that tidbit, since you actually were aware of the rioting and planned on blogging about it.

    Sweet Maude, that was a long comment. Sorry.

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  15. Aaaaaand now I'm looking for whistle charms on ebay.... Someone please stop me.

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  16. Caitlin, you and your "long comment" are more than welcome her at DTC! :)

    And, if you have 5 kids, I cannot recommend more strongly that you continue your whistle charm search on e-bay.

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