Monday, June 6, 2011

I Told You He Was Problematic

This morning around 8am I received a text from my husband, who was already at work.  I thought I would share with you what he wrote so you can see that he is purposely troubling to me.  My mother has been unable recently to comment on the blog (not my doing), so we will not be seeing her defend him below in the comments section.  So ha ha husband and mother.

The Party:
Your blog forgot mention Sarah Palin is kind of hot in that naughty librarian sort of way.  Just sayin' your report wasn't completely balanced.  She wouldn't have to speak, just make of bunch of "shhshhh" sounds and disrobe.

I'll be sure to mention that next time.  I am sure my readers will totally agree with you.

The Party:
I think under Federal Election laws you are required to post my rebuttal.

Will do.

Do you people see what I am forced to contend with?  He then wanted me to admit that he is just as funny as I am.  As if.  He is amusing I suppose, but as funny as I am?  I don't think so.  You all know how much I crack myself up.

I will not even mention that today he put his sneakers right on to the kitchen counter (hmhh...guess I will mention it).  His dirty, wear outside sneakers.  On the kitchen counter.  Which had just been cleaned.  His response to this?  "Well, in my own defense, I didn't think you were going to see them."  These are not the words of someone who had any intention of wiping the counter either, are they?  No, they're not.

These "scientists" don't
even know you are
supposed to use an
 "equal" sign, not an arrow.
My other problem for the day was that when I came in at 9:50pm from a meeting, Soccer Barbie is yelling through the house "Does anyone know how to balance scientific equations?"  WTF?  I asked her where was Daddy (the person who was at home and I would have supposed would have been helping with homework)? The Party had already gotten into bed.  Before he drifted off, I sent her right up to him as he was really her only chance of getting parental help.  Balancing scientific equations?  Are you kidding me?  That's not even really science, it's math.  And what does making chemical compounds balance on each side of an equal sign even have to do with science?  Is H2O = H2O helping anyone cure cancer?  No.  Besides, I don't really remember how to do it.  Okay, I couldn't really do it without help when I had to in 11th grade.  Why is SB doing it in 7th grade?

For good measure, after Party helped her he informed me that there is no way I would have ever been able to figure out the last problem of the set.  Even if I had all night and a ream of paper.  While that is likely true, I will just point out that this is why he is not as funny as I am.  It's not funny to make fun of the math impaired.

To summarize:
1.  The Party, while a lovely human being and good husband and father, will never live long enough to be as funny as I am.
2.  It is gross to put your sneakers on the kitchen counter.
3.  I am not intending to dress as a librarian or disrobe, but I am happy to "Shhshhh" The Party.


  1. Ok, so I had to consult my husband who is pretty much obsessed with anything with boobs for an expert opinion on the whole Sarah Palin librarian strip tease thing. I explained the scenario and asked if that was something normal guys would want to see.

    He said, "Nah, she's not even hot."

    So there is your hard evidence. The Party was CLEARLY pulling stuff out of his ass just to mess with you.

  2. My youngest child is currently working on fractions, and I had to give myself a google refresher... who can remember when it's time to find a common denominator and when it just all gets multiplied? Well, apparently lots of people, but not this girl.

  3. I loved balancing chemical equations in high school or at least I didn't find it difficult, but gosh, I have no idea how to do it any more. I guess my children are lucky my husband is a chemist. Now I'm gonna have nightmares about helping with homework.

    As for the Party, I would agree that Palin is an attractive woman, but she could never pull off librarian. Part of the librarian persona is having at least the illusion of capability and intellect. I'm not sure Palin could find her way around a library, thus, she could never pull off librarian.

  4. HA! I'm with MOAL on this one. Palin probably thinks the Dewey Decimal System is what those Europeans use to do their math homework!

  5. The main problem with The Party's argument is that Palin could NEVER be mistaken for a librarian. Librarians are SMART, which is why they're so sexy. And I can say this, because I used to work in my college library.


  6. Ha! I love you <3
    That is all I have to say.
    xoxo, KMC

  7. I told The Party that no one is on board with the Sarah Palin as sexy librarian thing. He thinks if we wait a little while, the supportive comments will come flying in. Hopefully he is not holding his breath.

    I also told him that everyone dislikes the shoes on the counter.

    Thank you all for your support. xo

    KMC - xo


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