Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Collaborative Effort

You know that I feel duty-bound to keep you all up to date on all matters of import on the current events front.  Today I will be able to get you up to speed with only the most urgent.  "Why" you may ask?  Well, several other matters have been brought to my attention as things that should be discussed here.  Being the ray of sunshine that I am, I of course want to accommodate my friends and family.  So, without further delay...

Apparently, God supports
pre-school graduation.
Graduations.  The Party, having garnered what amounted to zero support for his "Sarah Palin as hot librarian" political position, feels certain he will get more takers on this front.  I guess we will see.  The Party feels that any "graduation" that is not for high school or college is not a real graduation and is "bullshit."  Pre-school, kindergarten, elementary school, middle school - all ridiculous.  He sees why people want to mark the end of one thing and celebrate moving on to another, milestones if you will, but the whole idea of a formal "graduation" program is what he is against.

Party feels that anyone with a paying job should be exempt from having to take off from work to attend a daytime event of this nature.   He doesn't actually want to go to any of them at night, but had a harder time coming up with a reason why job holders shouldn't have to go (other than not wanting to).  The fact that many of the venues for these events are not properly air-conditioned doesn't help any.

So, what do you think?  The Party is right on the money or he is wrong wrong wrong and has no sense of fun?  I will throw into the mix that Party has attended all "graduations" for his own children thus far and always attends anything they are participating in, even when he doesn't want to.  So, even if you disagree with him, he does get credit with me for being a good sport (well, a little crabby, but still).

brilliance and awesomeness
Next, a lot of people have already heard of this book and even seen the text for it.  "Go The F*ck To Sleep" is written by Adam Mansbach.  For those of you who don't know, the book's format and pictures might lead one to believe that it's a children's book, but it most certainly is not.  It's hi-larious!!  This link is of the author giving a dramatic reading.  My friend Irina felt we all needed to see this and discuss the book's myriad merits.  Very impressive that the author reads so eloquently without cracking a smile.

On to the news.  I don't like to think of any of you just walking around on your own without at least something to talk about that will show that you are a mature, adult member of society.  Like me.  It's important to seem worldly and knowledgeable.  

Sports is what you most need to know about right now.  It's a couple days old, but people are still discussing basketball and if you haven't figured out what's going on, this should help you.  Finally, basketball is done.  The Dallas Mavericks (as opposed to the Palin/ McCain mavericks) beat the Miami Heat (not heat).  It is apparently an appalling state of affairs because the Heat have gotten a lot hype as being "the" team since they got LeBron James and some other guys people seem to like.  (Don't worry about who the other ones are, you aren't going to get into that deep a conversation over it).  LeBron is all sad and pitiful about the whole thing. I guess the millions of dollars didn't ease the pain of losing.  Personally, it would help me get over it before I even hit the locker room, but that's just me.

This is what people think of
hockey in June.  Snore.
You also should know, despite the ridiculousness of it, that hockey isn't over yet!!  I know!  WTF, right?  Anyway, the Stanley Cup playoffs will go to a 7th and final game on Wednesday.  For those of you, who don't automatically know what that means, it means each team has won 3 games so far.  You should definitely know that the two teams are the Boston Bruins and the Vancouver Canucks.  Vancouver is in Canada, not the United States.  Do NOT let anyone think you don't know that, otherwise everything you say after that will be moot.

If you follow baseball, the Phillies are in first place in the National League East.  I have to say "east" because it turns out there is National League South, Southwest, Northwest, Northeast, or something excessive like that.  Same for the American League.  American League East leaders are currently the Red Sox.  I live in the East, so I didn't look up the other 100 sub-divisions of each league.  Who decided to make so many divisions?  And, why didn't they just divide National and American either north/south or east/west?  Why are there two separate leagues that encompass the whole country?  I don't like how this is arranged at all.  Entirely too convoluted.  There is no way to just know if a team is National or American.  And why those names?  How about just the East baseball league and the West baseball league?  Way easier to follow my way.  Just saying.

Lastly, if you did not watch the Tony Awards (I did not), you should watch this clip of Neil Patrick Harris doing the opening number.  It's very cute/clever and it will immediately catch you up enough on cultural goings-on that you'll be good to go for a few days.


  1. As much as it pains me to say this, The Party is ABSOLUTELY right on this one. Non-high school/college graduations really are total BS. Props to him for going anyway.

  2. I agree with The Party as well!

  3. I wholeheartedly agree with The Party about graduations, and while I also go, there's a lot of grumbling coming from this corner, too.
    And that book? I read it last week and snorted coffee all over everything. Coffee I (possibly) wouldn't even need if my kids would just go to sleep already.

  4. The Party is absolutely correct about graduations.

    And that book is hysterical. My husband ordered me a copy and when it arrived he read it to me as a bedtime story. Hilarious and dead-on!

  5. I am a sucker, for any and all milestone, moving-up, tear-jerking ceremonies. However, the whole "cap & gown" bit should be saved for high school and college only. And any sport which practically lasts all 12 months of the year should be banned. Ice hockey=winter. Last time I looked winter was over. Bc

  6. Here is a link to a free audio download of Samuel L. Jackson reading "Go the F*&% to Sleep." Thought you might like it: http://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B00551W570

  7. I read the basketball paragraph and also made it through the hockey section (since I am in Canada I have to by law! :P), but you lost me when it came to baseball...
    I am so glad you ended this post with Neil Patrick Harris though.. otherwise I might have slipped into a desk nap here at work... ;)

  8. I agree with the party. I didn't even attend my college graduation, much less make anyone else attend. Granted, we all knew that I was going to law school and would force the entire gaggle to attend that graduation. Then again, I'm a little bummed that my son is finishing pre-school and there is no ceremony to mark the occasion.

  9. I am not as radically against it as The Party, but I could live with just a small - congrats for moving on to the next thing without all the fanfare.

    Mel - you don't actually have to care about any of this sports stuff (I surely do not), you just have to act like you have some clue so people don't give you that sad what a pity look when you don't know what the rest of the world does. It's all meant to help the illusion (not trick, tricks are for whores - 10 points for anyone who knows what I am talking about here).

    MoaL - didn't attend my graduate school graduation b/c I was a grown up and my parents couldn't make me. Would have skipped the college one if I could have. Graduations are such a snore.

  10. I know what you mean.
    After I have encountered outraged looks the few times I mentioned that I could not care less about hockey and have absolutely no clue about this sport, I have now mastered the "blank, but yet looking politely interested"-face to perfection. :P

  11. I totally, 100% agree w/ the Party. This graduation crap is right up there with everyone getting a ribbon + trophy that they didn't earn. A whole lot of nonsense and coddling!

    I don't even have kids and bought Go The F*ck to Sleep. Whenever I am down, it makes me happy again :) Just like DGTC. Awwww......


  12. P - Go the F to Sleep is perfect for everyone!! :)


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