Friday, June 24, 2011

But I Think It's Funny, And That's What Counts

You may (or may not) have noticed that I am kind of off schedule with the posting.  I was posting Monday through Thursday every week until summer break started.  Now I am on summer hours.  I am posting when I feel like it, which usually corresponds with my need for attention and adult interaction.  I have been spending a lot of time with my two teenagers and I am feeling somewhat punchy.  This usually causes my brain-to-mouth filter not to work so well (because we all know that otherwise it's spot on).

In general, it seems that everyone is not as amused by me or what I think is funny as I am/do.  The Party pretends he's one of those people, as do my children.  Obviously The Party thinks the same things are funny that I do or he would have never married me or made people with me.  And really, who cares if the kids think I am funny, what do they know?

or vodka, or tequila

So, I have decided to compile a list of stuff that I think is funny.  A lot of this stuff never gets old and is funny every time.  Kind of a "get to know the inner DTC" list.

1.  When The Party is in his underwear shaving, I will walk up behind and pants him.  He is annoyed every time, but it cracks me up every time, so I have to go with it.  He never does this to me because, clearly, that's  not funny.

2.  Kathleen Madigan, Wanda Sykes, Jim Gaffigan and Louis C.K.  There are others who are funny too, but I pretty much love everything that comes out of these people's mouths.

3.  The picture from my post the other day of the guy smoking a cigarette out of a hole in his throat.  I know it's not supposed to be funny, but for some reason the picture (not the concept in real life) just cracks me up because it's trying to be all serious, only the smoker doesn't look that upset.
You see what I
mean, right?
4.  Smart ass answers/comments during doctor's visits.  Just so you know, doctors are rarely amused.  They don't appreciate when I self-diagnose myself with things like Consumption or Meningitis.  Also, when you tell them that you don't smoke, but did as a teenager because it was cool, they refuse to laugh.

5.  Any time someone says they can't hear (for whatever reason) I answer "what?"  You would not believe how many times the same person will fall for this and repeat what they said.  That's always a good one.

6.  Books by Jen Lancaster and Celia Rivenbark.  I know I have said this before, but if you haven't read them, your life is sadly empty and you don't even realize it.  Go read them.

7.  Friends, Will and Grace, King of Queens, Murphy Brown, Mad About You.

It's important to bond
with your children, like I do.
8.  When my kids tell me they aren't talking to me I ask "Do you mean for right now or forever?"  They are never amused by this.  I always am because it further vexes them when they are being ridiculous.  Similarly, The Party will sometimes announce (for no discernible reason) that "we are not speaking."  I usually ask him if we could do it more quietly.  Oh the laughs never end (mine that is).

9.  Singing or dancing in the car.  It's not meant to be funny, but if you are going to react like I am running naked through your school, then I am going to continue with louder singing and more animated dancing.  What is wrong with you that you haven't figured out that if you say nothing, I'll eventually grow bored and stop on my own?

Picture I used in a past
 post which I still
find very amusing.
10.  Ten seems like a good round number, but I can't think of anything else right now.  So, if you can come up with a universally funny (the universe is really just us) thing I can use for number ten, share it.


  1. and this list is exactly why we are friends. some people just need to take humor 101. i will work on #10. xoxo bc

  2. The list is awesome, but I particularly <3 number 9. My teenage daughter doesn't get that yet. Maybe someday.... :)

  3. I love your humor! I personally like to walk through the mall with my kids making faces like I'm constipated. Always good for a laugh...and makes my kids sooo embarrassed. I also like to make obscene "gas" noises in public bathrooms. Nope, I never grew up. lol!

  4. I heart Kathleen Madigan. She is freaking hilarious!!!

    And why ARE doctors so humorless? Is it part of med school? Finish residency? check. Remove funny part of brain? Check.

    Number 10...hmmmm...anything involving Dave Barry and/or Dave Larson.

  5. You left me off of #2, and #5 is NEVER funny.
    Love, Mom

  6. Mother, I see you have overcome your technical difficulties. Excellent.

    #5 is a laugh riot. Everyone Knows it.


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