Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Ways to Keep Mom's Head From Exploding - A Family Guide

Well, we have had quite a busy couple of days here at Donkeys to College.  First, on Monday, we had a lovely guest writing visit from stark.raving.mad.mommy.  Then, Tuesday, I got to be the guest writer over there.  Fun!  And, as an added bonus, I had lots of new visitors to my Donkeys Facebook page.  You guys all totally rock!  I love having lots of people come snark it up with me on Facebook.

I decided today, rather than further discuss the ways in which children morph into teens and the ensuing tsuris (yeah, that's right, go look it up), I would offer our kids and teens some tips to staying alive long enough to see adulthood.  While this is my own personal list, I would be willing to bet a lot of money that there is not one thing on here that doesn't pertain to all children on the planet.  Well, all except the perfect children, but I haven't actually met any of those.  I have only heard about them from their mothers.

This is what I look like
by the end of the day.

1.   If you ask me to buy you something and I buy it..USE IT!  When you ask me for something like shaving cream, shampoo or deodorant and I see it still in the bag three days later and then you ask me again if I can buy said items (because you never looked in the bag that sat blocking your door) -  I can't even breathe.

2.  Use your towel to dry your body off after you take a shower - BEFORE you go anywhere.  Don't tell me you did.  You didn't.  If you did there would not be wet footprints on the bathroom tile nor would I squish through the ones on the carpet.  And I think we both know how I feel about the towel reaching the final destination of your bedroom floor.

3.  Take the trash down to the garage.  You say you didn't know it needed to go down, but why else would I leave the bag of trash blocking your way up the steps?  What are the chances I am not going to be annoyed if you move it out of your way to come up and then leave it?

4.  Just try it!!  Good Lord!  Would I ask you to try something that I really thought you wouldn't like?  And let's just say it's not your favorite, trust me, you won't die.

5.  Clean your room for real.  Shoving stuff under your bed, dresser, desk and into your closet isn't cleaning.  You might fool me at first glance, but when I come in there to get something and see what you've done, it's on.

6.  Every once in awhile, just take no for an answer, smile and move on. 

7. Don't whine!!!  It will never make me want to change my mind.  You know what else, you can keep the drama tragedy face to yourself as well.  Yes, you are whining and yes, you are making a face.  Why else would I say it?

I think we have covered the main survival techniques.  Let me know if I have missed any.


  1. Holy pre-adolescence, Batman. I'm using these same speeches with my 10-year-old son. Looks like I'm in for some LONG years...

  2. Don't instigate right in front of your parents. That's just dumb.
    Don't lie and smile at the same time.
    Every once in a while, tell your mother she's beautiful and wonderful and you're so lucky to be her child.
    Oh, and tell her she's right every now and again.
    That about covers it.

    Love, Mom

  3. Lol. I <3 your mom. Can I have her?

  4. DTC.. you are my hero. You put everything out there. I only have one, but as you well know, she is like at least 3 in my world. We've only just begun at age 12. Is there any chance that she will IMPROVE as she adds the word "teen" to her age? Please?! pretty pretty please??

  5. Chunky Mama - you can't have her, but I am willing to share. :)

    Lisa - you have your daughter pretty well in hand and address things right away and stick to what you say you will do. She knows you care about her, so that should help a lot - but "improve?" - I don't wanna lie to you... xo

  6. This. is. perfect!

    I am printing it out and posting it on my TWO teenager's doors!

  7. On the fridge already, together with the dictionary definition of "tsuris" (yeah, I looked it up, despite my intensely visceral flashback to my own teenage, big-sighing, eye-rolling, whining self that appeared immediately upon reading the words "look it up").

  8. Do your homework... just do it !

  9. I agree with all of these!

  10. Oh yes. You have totally nailed it. I'll let you know if I think of anything to add...

  11. do your homework - that's a good one.

    those of you who are posting it for your kids - let us know how that goes over. ;)

  12. I've followed SRMM over here - and this looks like much needed advice. I am going to ready this to my son to be 12 year old; maybe something will sink in!

  13. Awesome, looks like my ten year old daughter is already picked up some teen habits. LOL

  14. Posting it for the kids?! Hell, I wanna post this for the hubbs. Yeah, the 42 year old that has the audacity to stand in wonderment as to why I stay so tense all the time.

  15. Beautiful- I just want to let everyone know that you WILL survive and if you stick to your principles will get to enjoy both your adult children and their children. Great article!


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