Thursday, November 10, 2011

Really? You Want To Do What?: The Michelle Duggar Story

That's with 19 kids, a daughter
-in-law and a grandchild.  No
 way someone didn't have to get
smacked into cooperation.
People are having A LOT to say about the Duggars and their upcoming 20th child.  Before we go any further, let me say that despite it not affecting my life in any way, I would still rather talk about and hear about the Duggars than hear about Herman Cain or Penn State.  Neither of those topics have any good side or silver lining.  Both are disheartening and show the worst that people can be.  You can't even make any jokes because there is really nothing funny to be said about stuff like this.  At least with Duggars we have plenty we can joke about and poke fun at.  And isn't that what life's all about - having other people you can make fun of or roll your eyes at?

Honestly, wouldn't it be nice if the debate about whether you agree or disagree with the Duggar's Occupy The Planet movement was the most serious issue we were faced with?  So, here's the thing... upon hearing about the upcoming 20th Duggar arrival, my first response was an eye roll.  Not to judge too harshly, but that is just not a normal thing to do.  Baby-having is more of a sprint, not really a marathon.  Most people have a couple or 3 or 4 kids and call it a day.  Michelle Duggar is the like the cross-country runner of baby-having.  And of course she's going to win because it's not like anyone wants to compete with her.

While I was sorting out how I really felt about it, I read our friend from stark.raving.mad.mommy's thoughts on it and pretty much nodded and thought "Yeah, I'm on board with that."  Then I read what Mom-In-A-Million had to say and was in agreement with almost all of what she had to say.  Despite these two different schools of thought, I am still wondering what is the "real story."  What could Michelle really be thinking?  (side note - no matter your thoughts on 20 babies, you have to admit this Michelle is way less scary than Michele Bachmann, so it's a step up in the Michelle/Michele department).

Here are the things that I wonder about, I don't know why, I just do:  

1.  What's up with the bangs?  She always has long curly hair which looks completely separate from whatever bangs situation she has going.  Usually, the bangs are blown straight and then puffed out really big.  Sometimes the bangs extend back more heading in the almost mullet direction.  There's usually a lot of hairspray and teasing involved with that.  She kind of has a Little House on the Prairie/Gibson girl hair thing going and I just wonder how she came up with it.

2.  How do you even find the time or interest in getting pregnant with your 20th baby (ditto 10 thru 19)?  I don't care that she has a gang of other big kids to help her with the little ones.  By the time you could find 5 minutes of quiet or empty space who would want to use it doing that?  Not to be unromantic, but please.  If my view was that any baby that God sends is a lucky gift, I would not be doing anything to help God.  I would be spending my 5 alone minutes praying to God that he send some of those lucky gifts to the less fortunate. 

Do you really think the oldest
Duggar child thought it
was fun that his mom and wife
were pregnant at the same time?
3.  Why/how are she and Jim Bob (and that name, cue eye roll) always so smiley and happy and relaxed?  You can be loving and kind and all about God from here to eternity, but eventually, if you have that many kids, someone is going to piss you off.  Why?  Because kids are freaking annoying.  Even the good ones.  I just saw about 5 minutes of one of their TLC shows where they were answering questions from viewers.  When asked if they ever yell, Jim Bob just kind of smiled and chuckled and Michelle then went on to say that she tries not to "get excited" because that just "excites" the kids.  Um, the whole reason I "get excited" at my house is because the other people who live here are already out of hand.

4.  There is no way all those kids can be so good and calm and caring and loving to each other and happy to pitch in and do chores.  All.the.time.  No one seems to mind that they all have to dress the same.  The whole family appears to have been outfitted by some rogue pack of polo/button down and khaki lovers that escaped from one of TLC's fashion shows.  I love my kids to pieces and I model kind behavior (shut up, yes I do) all the time and my kids are total jerks to each other at least 50 percent of every day.  The way God intended it to be.

5.  Do you think Michelle thinks it's sexy or weird that Jim Bob's hair never moves or gets messed up?

Those are my top thoughts on the matter.  Maybe that bitchy, grating Nancy Grace will do one of those hard hitting interviews where she screams at Michelle to get these answers and then throws in that she bets Michelle wears thongs under her Little House skirts.  I bet then Michelle would get "excited."  I wonder if she would get "excited" enough to smack Nancy Grace in the head or if she would just sit there and smile and fluff her bangs.  These are things to think about.

I put this on FB a few weeks ago
and have made zero progress.
My bangs are a big jerk.
As an aside, I just want to point out that I am writing my second post in the same week.  Excellent progress for me since I never really seemed to have come off summer hours.  But, since Thanksgiving is approaching, I guess I can't really sell that it's summer anymore.  Also, I want to update you on my own personal bangs situation.  They are still growing in and they still wont cooperate unless they spend most of the day in the punishment clip.  This is upsetting because I don't think a little plastic butterfly portrays the level of sophisticated that I am.


  1. This is the best post on the 20th Baby Debacle to date. Love it.

  2. Ditto S.R.M.M's comment. And oh my lord, her bangs... thanks for the laugh! :)

  3. LOL! Love that you chose to take the lighter (and hi-LARIOUS) look at the Duggars <3 <3 <3

    That said, I shall now ruin my own point by weighing in on the Duggars and the blog links you shared for SRMM and MIAM :)

    First and foremost, I'm not a fan of exploiting one's children on reality TV, or any form of public media, and if the kids are too young to consent (or understand the level of exposure to which they're, um, exposed) then they shouldn't be put in a position to be watched by potentially millions of strangers. Period.

    Second, I'm not a fan of the sort of religion which makes women/girls into second class citizens in any way, shape, or form. (Dressing them like Laura & Mary Ingalls probably doesn't count in and of itself, although it maybe should)

    HOWEVER. I personally have no idea if that's going on with this family, and while I'm pretty good with SRMM's points about the Duggars, I'm uncomfortable with the repeated assumptions made by MIAM about their religious beliefs, their education, the way they manage their money, etc. There was way too much speculation-based judgment going on there for my comfort.

    All THAT said, total agree with everything you wrote, especially that there's no flippin' way everyone in that family is so happy and 'un-excited' all the time. Please. That many kids in constant close proximity? Not unless they're heavily sedated... no, not even then.

    Finally and most importantly, I think your plastic butterfly clip simply reflects your playful sense of whimsy :)

    xoxo, KMC

  4. You. Are. AWESOME! Punishment clip and all!! :) I thoroughly enjoyed your take on the situation, and have wondered some of the same Q's you post. The part where Nancy Grace bets she has a thong on under her skirt?! WIN WIN WIN!!! I would love to see that interview, keep me posted when it happens! Thank you for a very interesting read, as always!!

  5. OK, This post is so full of awesomeness that I hardly know where to begin. (deep breath) So, I'm just going to say that I agree with you. ON EVERYTHING. Every. Single. Thing. You. Said. Was. Spot. On.

    Yep. Everything.

    And, finally, I bow to you for growing your bangs out. I have never, ever, ever been able to accomplish this. I was once able to grow mine to my nose but then one day i grew annoyed and chopped them off with a pair of kitchen shears. So I think you are a goddess for rocking your plastic butterfly clip. You go, girl!

  6. This is what I have been missing lately: reading posts from DTC! Thanks for the laugh.

    And just so you know, I don't get it either and my mother is one of 13. And I have 2 cousins older than my youngest aunts. My aunts would make their nephews still call them aunt, even as teenagers. I always found that hilarious as a kid. Perhaps the Duggars are thinking of amusing their unborn grandchild. I'm sure that is why my grandmother had so many kids ;)

  7. that was so funny. I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying this Duggar post, and I too have wondered why nobody has swooped in and given the mom a makeover. Damn that's shallow.

    Has anyone been to their website and noticed the special bathing suits they endorse for girls? Whoa. No--seriously--WHOA.

  8. @KarenSOE - we love shallow around here!!

    Will have to go check out those suits - I bet I can guess.

  9. Truth!
    I also know that, besides training the kids where to look for the camera, they do not show all they tape. Nor to they tape constantly. So I trust that, with all those kids, there is a lot of the 'normal' chaos and such going on when we, as the viewing public, don't see it. I only have two sisters, but the neighbor across from us had 12 kids. I never met the oldest ones, but the youngest three were in school with us. (We moved here when I was in high school.)
    ~Thought: Michelle's hairstyle, and dress, reminds me a LOT of the 80's styles. (Laura Ashley, anyone?)....

  10. I cannot wrap my head around a family having that many kids. I guess this is why my brain checks out and just focuses on Mrs. Duggar's hair, which I talked to the TV about last time I saw the Duggars. Straight bangs, curly hair. Huh. (I was also jealous of their trip, but I digress.) Same with SisterWives, what are they up to now -- 17 kids? Can't wrap my head around it, so my brain goes to Kody's hair. With four wives, not one of them has been able to get him to cut his hair? Speaks volumes. It sounds so shallow, talking about the hair, but I think it's a defense mechanism. I'm at times completely overwhelmed with my own much smaller family and I think if I really thought about these super families I'd have a stroke. So, my brain protects me.

  11. not only is Kody's hair a disaster - but even with it, he's gotten 4 women to sleep with him! Maybe they are partially blind.

    As for having that many kids - I would probably have to kill myself. Or my husband.

  12. Those bangs are called "jokes catchers" or the Utah Claw. Not kidding.


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