Monday, August 5, 2013

That And A Dollar Will Get You A Cup Of Coffee

We can make this another $25,000 Pyramid Category - Things That Are Worthless.  Or, perhaps better named - Things That Require A Throat Punch.  How cool would it be if we could actually get them to make an episode of the show with all the categories we want?  The possibilities are endless!  Things That Explain Why Your Neighbor's Husband Is Sleeping In The Yard, Reasons Why Your Kid Is Out In Public With No Pants, Things You Find In A Mom's Mini Van...

As fun as this game would be (and I am totally trying to figure out a way I can make this into a real game and become rich before someone steals my brilliant idea), I started out writing this post because I felt there was a real need for a list of topics that need to be banned as well as people who need to shut the f@*$ up.  If I had addresses, I'd be sending out DTC STFU bracelet (considering a reprint of those).

STFU List 

Right up there with fat free
ice cream or cheese.
1.  Ted Nugent.  I refused to even read past the headlines because he is such an ass.  He called Stevie Wonder "brain dead" for boycotting Florida and he is saying Zimmerman should sue Travon's parents.  Everyone is welcome to their opinion, but you are an ass.  Obs, whistle and smack.

2.  The Boston Bomber.  This is more aimed at the media and their need to plaster his picture everywhere anytime there is mention of the story.  An especially big smack goes to Rolling Stone Magazine.  This guy and his brother killed and maimed innocent people.  They have destroyed people's lives and have added one more thing all of us have to worry about when we gather together for community and charity events.  No one, but the victims in particular, should be forced to see this guy's face everywhere they look.  The public doesn't need any more "get to know you/ life story" information on Tsarnaev brothers.

3.  All Kardashians.  And anyone married to or sleeping with them.  I assume no explanation is needed.

4.  Paula Deen.  My God woman!!  Whatever you did or did not say/do 25+ years ago would not be biting you so hard in the ass right now if you would JUST STOP TALKING.  And for the love of cheese, hire someone to do damage control for you and do every single thing they tell you to do.  Oh, and JUST STOP TALKING.

5.  All news from American sources regarding the Royal Birth.  We get it, Kate and Will had a baby.  Snore.  There is not one thing about that requires this level of reporting, speculating or commentary.  The birth of this baby does not affect Americans in any way!  It doesn't even affect anybody British, they just have some weird interest in continuing to have a Royal Family.  I do not care what Harry thinks about getting knocked further out of the running for King.  I don't care what diet and exercise regimen Kate plans to follow to get back into pre-baby shape.  I do not want to see weeks and weeks worth of baby pictures with thoughts on which former monarchs the baby might resemble.

6.  Anthony Weiner.  Anyone who is friends with Anthony Weiner.  Anyone who wants to talk
I'm sure Giselle
or Tory Spelling
can shed some light.
about Anthony Weiner.  Your last name is Weiner and you texted pictures of your junk - you will forever be a joke.  And really, really yucky.

This is all I have for now.  Definitely let me know if we need to add anyone.  I'm sure we do.  Who's the latest celeb mom whose lost all her baby weight and will probably write a book telling us the best way to parent now that she's had one baby for 5 minutes and is an expert?  Whoever that is, she can be on the list.  Also on the list can be whatever sports figure has completely trashed his reputation and risked his career this week by being an asshat.  


  1. Things That Explain Why Your Neighbor's Husband Is Sleeping In The Yard - hahahhahahahhahahhhhahhahaahhahhahahahahahaha

  2. Things you find behind the refrigerator. Top one for me: a flip flop. Not a pair, just a single one, that I'd guess has lived there for approx 5 years by the size of it. Strange fact - I remember finally throwing the mate away as I had looked "everywhere" in the house. HA!
    Wear your bracelet with pride girl. Now more than ever, we need whistles and smacks handed out like smiles.

  3. Can we all come together and just put the Kardashians on a island somewhere? With NO cameras whatsoever? I mean, when you make Paris Hilton look shy and retiring by contrast, you're long past your expiration date. I don't think even Octomom was this annoying. Okay, no, she was but at least she went away eventually!


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