|The Party will have|
to get used to
attention when I take
over the Letterman show.
This is helping him.
Anyhoo, The Party is a little on the shy and reserved side, so it's actually good for him to get used to a little more attention. It's helping him to lessen his stress and live longer. He doesn't think so, but trust me, it is. So, not only have I immortalized him in print (PS - still no thank you on that), but I am adding to his good health and longevity. Would you expect any less from a ray of sunshine? No. You would not.
Today's Candid Camera Episode went as follows:
Party: I can pick up SB from soccer. I am going to go running first. Do you want to come?
(I look around for a camera or to see if he's talking to someone else. Party knows I don't like to run and I don't think it's fun. He's known this for awhile. Like 25 years).
Me: Are you expecting me to be chased? Or on fire?
Party: No. I thought you might like it.
Me: You know I don't have any interest in running.
Party: It feels really good.
I mention that I have run before and didn't think it felt good. Further, we then establish that it feels good when you're done, not necessarily during. Okay. So what I am being told is the good thing about running is that it feels good after you stop doing it. Uh huh. So why don't I just not do it at all and feel good all along?
Sometimes I think I am making myself extremely clear, but no one seems to hear what I am saying. I keep telling my children we are not adopting a baby, but they keep discussing it with me like I said "maybe." I am 44 years old, I am not having nor adopting a baby. The baby party is over.
Last baby conversion:
I am talking to my mother and Boy hears us discussing someone else's baby, he pipes in...
|We wouldn't want to subject a|
new baby to the harsh realities
of life in the limelight.
Me: We are not adopting a baby from China.
SB: (stops talking to her friend to join in) How about from Kenya?
Me: We are not adopting a baby from Kenya. We are not adopting a baby from anywhere.
Honestly, how am I supposed to not talk about my family when these are the types of conversations I am forced to be a part of? I am sorry children and Party, until our conversations are more Cosby Show and less Modern Family, I have no choice but to share and seek the support of the virtual world. Think how much less expensive this is than therapy and more healthy than becoming an alcoholic. I am doing it for all of us. You're welcome.
And, just so the post isn't a total bust for The Party, I will share some WTF News with you that has nothing to do with him. Consider this your PSA for the day. If you are a woman and you have toes and you live in Arkansas, you might have a problem (other than living in Arkansas). Consider wearing closed-toe shoes until the toe sucking bandit is captured. Yes, you heard correctly. Just like stuff with my family, I couldn't possibly make this up. The bandit most recently forced an elderly woman's toes into his mouth. Extremely disturbing.
|You are totally welcome|
for not posting some of
the pictures of real feet
I found. Ew.