Friday, September 16, 2011

You Shake My Nerves And You Rattle My Brain

And not in the good Jerry Lee Lewis kind of way.  Well, that's assuming you think being all hot for your 13 year old cousin is a good way.  Still, that would be better than the circus that is the GOP presidential hopeful pool.  I mean good Lord!  At this rate, all Obama is going to have to do to stay in office is not get arrested.  And, even then I wouldn't count him out.  

I'm not a fan of elephants
and donkeys as the
mascots.  We need new ones.
I say dolphin and gazelle.
What is up with these politicians?!?!  It's seriously alarming.  I am waiting for one of them to respond with "I'm rubber, you're glue..."  No one seems to be pointing out that their arguments and finger pointing are inane and completely irrelevant.  Republicans, if you don't like Obama and think he does everything wrong, why don't you tell me what you would do instead and how and why your plan will work better than his?  I don't care that Michele Bachmann said she's a size 6, but is really a size 10. (Okay, I made that part up, but it could happen).

The most current thing annoying me (Reader's Digest version) is that Michele Bachmann got all over Perry for mandating that girls in his state get the HPV vaccine.  She's appalled and thinks little girls shouldn't be subjected to a government injection.  It should be a parent's choice.  Oh, and the vaccine causes mental retardation.  Well geez, that was unfortunate.  She almost had a real argument there and she blew it.  Is her issue that it's a sex-related vaccine and therefore bad/wrong so no one should "have" to get it if they don't want or is it that she thinks government should not be mandating what health precautions parents should be forced to take?  If it's the latter, then why isn't she carrying on about all the other vaccines parents are forced to give their children? 

I can't discuss politics any further because it makes my head hurt.  I really feel a lot of these politicians make comments that don't even support their own positions.  On the upside, I find that Bachmann makes Palin seem hardly troubling at all.  Almost kind of warm and fuzzy.

But guess what, Palin got herself all over the news today!  There is now a book out, The Rogue, which I assume is meant to discredit her "I'm a good Christian" routine.  The book is claiming that Palin "had a fetish for black guys for a while" and had a one-night stand with a future NBA player.  Oh and she's done cocaine and had an affair while she's been married.  Good stuff.  I'm wondering what she did to this author to piss him off to this degree.  And let's just jump back for a second and be a little offended that the author calls a white woman liking black men a "fetish."  I think "preference" would have been a better choice of words.  When you say "fetish" it kind of makes it seem like it's weird for white people to be attracted to black people.  Just saying.  Bottom line is that this book isn't going to help Palin any, but it really doesn't make her any more or less qualified than she was last week before the book came out.

Crap, I said I wasn't going to talk any more about politics.  Okay, moving on.  What else is going on that makes my brain get all scrambled?  Comedy Central roasting Charlie Sheen.  That kind of numbs the brain.  They have been talking about this all summer and all Charlie's requirements about what better not get mentioned.  Now we have to hear how we have to wait until next week until it's aired on TV.  Snore.  What is there left to say about Sheen that's even funny any more?  Exactly.

Yeah, it is probably the
kids' own fault that they
can't spell test, let
alone pass one.
I think you'll like this one and feel all toasty and safe inside picturing the future leaders of our country.  SATs have dropped and are now at their lowest since 1995, with the reading portion of the test dropping the most.  That "no child left behind" thing is working like gangbusters.  There is some talk that this is due to the increased number of minority students who don't have a strong core curriculum taking the test.  Hhhmmmm, that doesn't make it any better.  That just further shows that the way schools are forced to operate (teaching to standardized tests) is not working.  So now, kids can't read and they can't score well on the SATs.  Clearly, the way to solve the problem of low scores is just to do away with the test.  That is way cheaper than wasting our money trying to revamp the country's education system.  I mean really, is reading that important?  I am sure anything our kids need to know can be watched on a YouTube video.

Please note that Trace
is sporting both full-chest
tattoos as well as an
unfortunate haircut.
So nothing else is bothering me at this time, but I do want to fill you in one last important thing.  Brenda Song's mother (London, from the Suite Life of Zach and Cody and other Disney shows) says Brenda, 23, is NOT pregnant with Trace Cyrus's child. (Trace is Billy Ray's son).  Brenda's mom says that Brenda and the whole family is very upset about the rumor because this was not how Brenda was raised.  "Phew" is all I have to say!  I don't know if Brenda's mom meant because the two aren't married or she meant because Trace looks like a walking freak show, but I don't think he is going to help her image or career any.  Yes, I know I am being a little mean, he might be very nice.  I don't care, they look awful together and I vote "no."

No to ridiculous political nonsense.
No to any more Charlie Sheen TV time.
No to Disney sweethearts dating thuggy/carney looking guys.
Yes to children learning to read better.
Yes to black and white people being allowed to like each other without being called freaks.

Hey...I think if I run for president, that's going to be my platform.  That, and "A pizza in every pot."


  1. I love that GOP cartoon card!! My grandparents are die-hard elephants and I keep telling them that if they want to get Obama out of office they're going to have to field a candidate that isn't so *obviously* insane. When I vote, I go with the 'least scary person' rule, and I gotta tell you, it's not looking too good this year. They're all looking pretty darned frightening to me. o.O

  2. I believe what Palin did to the author of the be his mother-in-law. I do believe The Party would vote for me if I wanted to be president, AND he would also say very positive things about me in any book he wrote.
    And, I vote for children learning to read better. That is a direct endorsement of you for president.
    Love, Mom

  3. This is a different book - it's not written by Levi - who PS is now telling everyone Bristol got pregnant on purpose to piss off Sarah. That Levi is a charmer.

  4. Funny, you didn't mention The Party voting for me. He would, ya know. (Maybe not. I'm not always honest. You know how he deals with that stuff.)

  5. You've got my vote, too, which I think brings the tally up to a solid 5. And that is 5 more than any of those nutjobs deserve.

  6. Six! The pizza did it for me. Although the reading thing sounds nice, too. xoxo

  7. I'll vote for you, too!

    I despise Charlie Sheen even more after he had his "comedy" show and talked crap about the Detroit audience because most of the got up & walked out on him.

  8. You have now become one of my *two* sources for news. The other source is the cheezburger website. I have to say, you are more intentionally funny, not to mention that you have more timely stories. I would vote for you in a heartbeat, if only either party could be talked into nominating you (not likely, considering the levels of inanity in both these days). I could totally get behind the whole tolerance and literacy ticket, but I have very little hope that anyone in power will be convinced to teach our children to read.
    Agreed on the Charlie Sheen thing. However, something even more sad resulting from his firing: the network is replacing him with Ashton Kutcher (my husband had to inform me, since I refuse to watch anything not on my Tivo list). All I can say is a resounding 'ew'. That show was terrible enough before.
    Finally, all I can say about poor Brenda is that she is suffering from that misguided kid's vengeance upon his father. We all knew that Achy Breaky Heart had to produce fallout sometime... On a side note, I've never considered her much of a sweetheart. The two characters I've seen her play were both selfish and a little stuck-up. Not exactly role models I'd like my daughter to follow.
    In conclusion: Vote #7 for the DTC party!

  9. Vote # 8 here! How refreshing would it be to have someone in the oval office that could tell it like it is! And be honest! If only the politicians cared what the American people really thought. Then we would see progress.

  10. okay, I add everyone up here and on FB, I am up to like 13. Definitely in the running against Palin and Bachmann.

  11. so, yeah.. just catching up and so glad I did...

    Yes to black and white people being allowed to like each other without being called freaks.

    I'm a freak, so what?


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