Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I Like The Way You Work It, No Diggity

The original grill.
His was at least useful.
So, it turns out I'm not the only suburban mom (or dad) whose been listening to rap.  Lots of people seemed to agree with my assessments, but there were a few who were not happy I did not include their favorite in my "good" list.  By the way, I am adding Dr. Dre and Rob Base to my list of ones who are good with the words.  I will also mention that the last time I looked neither had the Jaws from The Spy Who Loved Me grill working, so I like that too.

There was one Nicki Minaj supporter.  I think maybe it was her mom.  You know, because that's the kind of crowd we get up in here.  So far, my thank yous from the rap and hip hop world have not been forthcoming, but I figure they must have decided to all get together and do one big thank you gift.  I let you know how it pans out.

I will tell you that my attention has been drawn away from some of the freaks in the music industry because our usual suspects in the entertainment world are working hard to get our attention.  It's not even Charlie Sheen this time.  I know, weird, right?  I'm not sure which wins for most ridiculous.  I will let you decide.

First up is Ryan O'Neill.  As you may, or may not know, he and Tatum have been on the outs for years.  In part this seems to be due to his abusing her as a child and being self-centered and hot-tempered.  Add to it, she has had a lot of drug problems and keeps writing about him.  But alas, things seemed to be on the mend when they agreed to film a reality show for Oprah's network.  Turns out, not so much.  Ryan has given Oprah a sarcastic thanks-for-nothing and is blaming her for making matters worse between them.  Did I miss the part where Oprah forced them to do a reality show?  I am sure it's Oprah's fault and not the fact that Ryan has essentially blamed his children, but especially Tatum, for causing Farrah's cancer.  What a charmer.  Hard to believe a guy like that doesn't get along with his kids or that they have a whole host of issues.

Honestly, what is
she doing?
The next one is more creepy than crazy.  I think.  These next pictures are photos that Demi Moore has tweeted (yes tweeted, as in put onto Twitter) of herself.  For the first one she gives a deep and meaningful quote so you won't be alarmed that she has no shirt on.  The second one?  Even if she just wanted us to see the bathing suit to get our opinion (it could happen) why the sunglasses and the posing?  The only other people I have ever seen take so many pictures in the bathroom are middle school girls.  I don't know why, it's just what they do.  Public or private, it doesn't matter.  However, they have their clothes on.  Also, just saying, but super long, super straight, parted-in-the-middle hair kind of says middle school to me as well.  What up Demi?
If she was a politician, these pictures would have
cost her her job.  And PS, eat a sandwich or something.
Last we have Chaz Bono.  *Sigh.*  What is he doing?  This may be the only case where I am gonna say that a diamond studded grill couldn't hurt his look any.  Chaz, you have my support on the gender reassignment thing (look, I am so PC with my correct terms), but the beard is not making you look any more manly.  You have a nice haircut and a nice suit.  Your girlfriend is beautiful.  The only thing that beard is doing is making people wonder what your girlfriend sees in you.  One might wonder about the judgement of a man who hasn't used the blotting papers he so desperately needs, but rather has spent his time and energy growing a beard that looks like the clippings of someone else's beard he glued to his chin.  I feel certain that if your mother could have turned back time, she wouldn't have let you leave the house like that.
I just cannot think of enough
ways to say no to this beard.
I believe that is all on the crazy front at this time.  If you still have lingering rap thoughts, feel free to share.  We don't like squash creativity around here (except for if it's beard related).


  1. In conclusion, it looks like you have a normal mother who gave you a normal childhood. Score one for the geriatrics!

  2. This was so funny - I loved it! I agree with you on every single thing...especially Demi Moore. That was the first thing I thought when I saw those photos, "What? Is she in middle school?" OK, I get it, she has an awesome body. But seriously, does she not know that she is pushing 50?

  3. The original grill! Jeebus. I snorted coffee out of my nose. Demi either has a very good surgeon or Ashton is the fountain of youth.

  4. bahahahahaha - I bet that's Ashton's pick up line "I got your fountain of youth right here, baby."


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