Thursday, February 24, 2011

Scattered With a Chance of Crazy

Along with the many things I have self-diagnosed myself with, I have decided that I have Adult ADD (I have also had Consumption and African Sleeping Sickness).  It is taking all my focusing ability not to make this a 9 page post.

Every time I decide what I want to talk about I get sidetracked by something else urgent we must discuss  (Facebook, hair issues, children, etc).  In between deciding on a topic, I keep going downstairs to do something.  At this point, I don't even remember what the original thing was because once I get there I forget why I went down in the first place.  While I am there something else catches my attention.  Like someone reminding me I was going to make them something to eat.  Or looking through the mail.  Or remembering I left something in the car.  Come to think of it, I never made it back out to the car.

Anne Taintor is a riot!
So, here is a list of topics we will only sort of discuss and I will get back to when I am in a more focus-y mood or when I can convince the doctor I have ADD and get medication.  Whichever comes first.  I considered self-medicating, i.e., drinking more, but that requires more effort than I am willing to make.  I mean you have to get up, get a glass, go to the den, make the drink, go back upstairs.  For it to really work, I would spend all day going up and down the steps.  Who has that kind of time/energy?

Anyhoo,  here's what the final share list is:

1.  Big report that John Travolta was photographed without his hairpiece.  So what?  We already knew he was pretty bald and I don't think he was trying to pretend he wasn't.

2.  Read a run down on all the Gadhafi children (7 boys, 1 girl).  That is one big Gang-O-Crazy.  Lots of drinking and drug problems.  Several have gotten into trouble in other countries.  One even caused Libya to cut ties with all of Switzerland and refuse anyone Swiss a visa because Moammar thinks Switzerland was mean to his son.  These are the people lining up to take over the country if the Libyans are unsuccessful in their bid for freedom.

3.  People are extremely annoying (not any of us).  This is why I have a whistle.  While I was thinking about that today, my friend Paulette posted an article about people not knowing how to walk on the sidewalk in a manner that does not piss others off.  Very true (and a personal pet peeve).  Article basically says that we are doing society a favor when we tell people to move the flip out of the way (it doesn't say you can shove them, but I bet that would be okay too).  This just confirms that I am helping mankind with my whistle.

Boy's current thoughts on
writing a paragraph for
the blog
4.  I told my son that if he continues to aggravate me (and tell me not to mention him on the blog) that not only will I mention him, but I will put up his picture, along with his cell phone number, school schedule and locker combination.  Husband and I thought that was funny.  Boy did not.

5.  I did not like Jennifer Lopez's lipstick tonight on American Idol.  Too pink.  Everyone on Facebook agreed with me.  Also, we could have lived without her crying.  She was one breath away from telling those she was booting, "this is harder on me than it is on you."

6.  I am extremely pleased with myself at this time.  I broke my pinky nail in the middle today (that's not why I am pleased).  It was bleeding and it still really hurts.  It is only broken in the middle, but attached everywhere else.  Every time anything touches it, it pushes back a little and hurts more.  Tried band-aids and tape.  Lightbulb!!  I Krazy Glued the crack and it worked!!  Feels like 83-87% better. 

 7.  I want to remember to tell you all some of the products I have been using and books I have been reading.  It will be like Oprah's Favorite Things, only all my stuff costs way less and I am not giving any of it away.  Well maybe, we'll see. 

8.  Last thing.  Why don't the producers of the Oscars ever realize that they could shave 10 minutes off the show if they would skip the interpretive dances they do for all the Best Movie nominees?  It's stupid and boring.  I vaguely recall my friend Kim telling me she likes it.  I'll have to ask her and let you know.  But besides her, who likes it?  She is wonderful and all, but I don't think she needs a whole segment of the Oscars just for her own enjoyment.

While I was finishing up, it was just reported to me that Jimmy Kimmel is doing a segment called "how is this news?"  Really Jimmy?  Big stupid copycat.


  1. Okay, put me on the list of people who will testify on your behalf in the doctor's office.
    Mother loves you.

  2. i am glad i am not the only one who has self-diagnosed herself with adult add. hilarious yet again. but really, who has a 'den' anymore? <3 xoxo bc

  3. Isn't Krazy Glue great! When my cousin's son got his pant leg stuck in the garage door as it was going up and then fell on his head, the doctors used Krazy Glue (or perhaps surgical grade super glue) to close the hole on his head. Apparently, it leaves less of a scar than stitches!

    Love your list. Thanks for the laugh again.

  4. I have a den. But there are no drinks there...

    I've been checking out your blog daily for a couple of weeks now and I just love it! Interesting AND very funny. AND informative. :D

  5. So, even though I now don't have to check your blog daily to see if you posted since I subscribed to feedburner, I still have to come to your site to see the comments in case your mother posted (and your fabulous friends...) Maybe I need to get my own friends - but until then I'm thoroughly enjoying yours. :D

  6. Terrie, I have a brand new den. I never had a den before. It has a tv and sofa, but no bar. If it had a bar, I think I would call it a saloon. So, for right now, it is a den.

    When I want a drink, I go to Donkey's den and Paulie makes me a frozen Margarita. YUM!


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