Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Cultured - That's Us

 It has been suggested to me that I am just the person to write a parenting book.  A book, I don't know.  But, a list of helpful parenting tips, totally.  But, as fate would have it, in our ongoing quest to be well-rounded and cultured, we have other things to discuss so we can appear superior to those around us.  Yes, well-rounded and cultured IS our goal...didn't you get the memo?  Please try to keep up.

Velvet Teddy Bear = Dud

So, music first.  It is extremely troubling to me that no one has stepped up to the plate to take Luther Vandross's place.  Even before he died, the closest it looked like we were coming was Ruben Studdard from American Idol.  That totally didn't pan out.

When Luther (yes, we were on a first name basis) died that was James Ingram and Jeffrey Osbourne's big chance to jump back into the limelight.  Where are they?  Nowhere, that's where.  And, there is no one current even close to their talent.  I will bet you a million dollars you wouldn't have ever heard Luther sing "Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock."

Honestly, with James and Jeffrey (yes, first name basis with them too) still acting like punks and being no-shows, I would take a Keith Sweat or a Johnny Gill or Boys 2 Men.  Don't these people know how to strike while the iron's hot?   We have lots of rap and hip hop, but no R & B.  Here's your chance!

Below is a video of Luther singing Searching live.  THIS is how you sing a song and add some sparkle.  You don't see big Luther (not to be confused with skinny Luther) trying to liven things up by dressing like a giant Liberace feathered muppet (yes, I am talking to your foolish, lyric forgetting behind Cee Lo).

On the Country Western front, word is out that Glen Campbell is retiring.  I know, *gasp*!!!  Glen, our original rhinestone cowboy, is going to release one more record and do a farewell tour this summer.  It is reported that this new album tested well with college students and will not be "your mother's Glen Campbell."  You might wanna get your tickets now.

If you look closely at the original you
 will never be close enough to see,
you can see the brown.
On the art front, you should know that scientists, who still have not cured cancer, were able to determine the reason some of Van Gogh's paintings have yellow paint that is slowly turning brown.  Apparently, there is a chemical in the paint that is sensitive to ultraviolet light.  Oh, and they have known this for a long time, but now they know the exact part of the chemical and can work to try to make it not react to the light.  No, they cannot fix what already has turned brownish, so Van Gogh is pretty much out of luck.

Andy is probably laughing
from a coffee house in
the great beyond.

Oh yeah, we have some Not Art news too.  Some joker has purchased an Andy Warhol self-portrait for $17 million.  Double the price it was expected to get.  Some people will pay any amount of money to seem like they are cultured.  Not us.  We are cultured for free.

I look forward to sharing my parenting tips with you tomorrow and to finding a way to fit in telling you about the lady who had scissors in her stomach that poked through to the outside.


  1. Oh man, I'm looking forward to it. Like fries and gravy looking forward to it.

  2. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I heart your blog. You write like I think ("Yes, well-rounded and cultured IS our goal...didn't you get the memo? Please try to keep up.") and I laugh like crazy every day. Thanks for writing! I am going to add you to my blog roll for all 3 people that still read my blog.

  3. I had not realized Luther Vandross had died. Thanks for keeping me up to date! I love your blog!

  4. thank you for making me laugh during lunch...i think that if luther's sequined coat got wet, a la, gremlins, perhaps he, and the coat, would morph into cee lo, and his toucan costume...would explain why you never see the two of them together. that, and the whole luther being dead thing...and if i could figure out how to put my name on this i would, but i've just spent 5 minutes not doing it correctly so i will sign this, simply, and anonomously,

    rob from atlanta


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