Now that I am done doing holiday-time shopping at the mall and have spent the day in New York during winter break, I am more sure than ever that people in generally have no eff-ing idea how to walk or act in public. I kind of knew before, but now there is no doubt. People (of course, not us) are rude and clueless.
Everyone cannot possibly be new. Why don't people know the rules? Or have manners? I am going to get the following rules made into a big sticker and just slap it onto people as needed. I know that might sometimes cause a problem or a fist fight, but if I have to kick someone's ass, that's just how it's going to have to be. I know!! I will blow my whistle really loudly at the person, stun gun them (when I work around Party and get one) and then put the sticker on them.
I thought the sticker came out good. I would maybe add some smiley faces or peace signs so it didn't seem hostile. Maybe I could even get scented stickers. That would be nice I think. I am sure a cinnamon-scented sticker would totally negate any ill feelings a zap with a stun gun might elicit.
Now, besides having to deal with people who can't walk correctly, I now have a driving issue. My 16 1/2 year old son, you know, Boy, got his driver's license today. He was very excited and I was very happy for him. Except that I don't really like it. He (and his sister for that matter) is painfully close to getting a "Walking" sticker slapped on his chest and now he's driving. A car. On the road with other people. He is actually doing well with his driving, but it's just ridiculous that someone barely out of toddlerhood is operating a motor vehicle.
I am trying to focus on the fact that since we have a car he will be able to drive it will save me having to drive him back and forth from everything. I can also get him to take SB back and forth when I need him to. Forgotten items at the market - Boy. Weekend trips to Dunkin Donuts - Boy. Need a designated driver - Boy. If I can just remember these things maybe it will keep my mind off the fact that his life is in peril every minute he's driving the car. I also have some Xanax, so there's that too.
Just an aside, for those of you who don't have Xanax (and I guess for those of you who do), if you like to have a cocktail to take your mind off imminent disaster, the Lemon Drop Martini at Bonefish Grill is dee-lish-ous! Did I say it was delicious? Best one I ever had. It's perfect.
So, back to what we were talking about. And that was....? Oh yeah, annoying walkers and peril. Anyway, I can't quite reconcile my teenager who is responsible and mature enough to drive a car with the teenager who refuses to wear a coat. What is so difficult here? If it's cold, wear a coat. Also, as some of you know I mentioned on Facebook, if you don't wear a coat, do not even dream of telling me you are cold. I don't care. You should just thank me for not saying "I told you so."
I really think there is some sort of design flaw in the survival instinct in teenagers. I picked up Boy the other night and he and the 4 other kids with him (in 23 degree weather) are all only wearing hoodies or light fleece jackets. They are bee lining it for the car and yammering about being freezing. Lest I should think it was just my group of misfits who didn't have the sense to wear coats, I looked around the parking lot and every single kid leaving the building was under-dressed and running for their respective cars. Besides a design flaw, how can you explain this? You know every one of the parents suggested a coat to their kid. And, I can assure you every one of those kids owned a coat. I just don't know how the human race survived all this time, especially since the list of non-life-lengthening things that teenagers do is long.
In summary, to start 2012 off on the right foot, people and teenagers should:
1. learn how to walk in public
2. not be rude
3. not be stupid
4. not be annoying.
5. buy me presents (you had to read between the lines for that one).
*editor's (me) note - my mother posted and erased 3 comments before she got to a version of her liking. I erased the 3 notices below that said "removed by author" thinking we didn't really need them. I then realized that for humor purposes of my mother's and TMM's comments, we did. So, pretend the "removed by author" - all 3 of them are still there and laugh away. The End.
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