I know this is not what you usually hear from parenting "experts," but trust me, this is the way to go. You only have a limited amount of time in your child's life where they will believe anything you say, and it's important to take advantage of it. Don't misunderstand me, I don't think you should lie to your child about important things. It would be wrong to tell your small child that you are still deciding if you are going to keep them or return them for a better-behaved model. That's just mean. Funny, and it might work, but too mean.
|Do you want your|
kid to go to jail?
Don't let him read.
When kids are small it is much easier to fool them because they don't have a lot of life experience. They will pretty much go with what you say. At least the first 3 or 4 times. As your child gets older, it's a lot harder to sell them on whatever it is you are trying to convince them of. You know why? Because they learn to read. You people who help your kids learn to read at 3 or 4...poor planning.
Allow me to be more specific. In a past post A Rose By Any Other Name, I gave some examples of how you can re-name food to get kids to eat it. They don't like unfamiliar words or ingredients. But if you give something a cool name, then they want it/ might try it. Food companies try to do this as well. They try to market a healthy/healthier food by making the package look similar to the original. This is great - if your kid can't read. Kraft just came out with a mac and cheese that has cauliflower in it. It supposedly tastes just as good/the same as its regular mac and cheese. Awesome. A serving of vegetables hidden in delicious mac and cheese. Awesome, that is, if your child doesn't catch wind of the cauliflower. If even one of your children can read the box and see the word cauliflower, they are going to insist to you (and get siblings to agree) that you can totally taste the cauliflower and that it's yucky.
There is never going to be a scenario where a child sees there is cauliflower, tries it willingly anyway, and then announces "OMG Mom, you're totally right, this tastes just as good." It. will. never. happen. Never. The actual product has to look the same as well. That "white" wheat bread that tastes perfectly fine with pb & j on it? No sale. It is not perfectly white and therefore it tastes different and wrong and is inedible. You might as well keep your "white" wheat pasta as well. Or, you can buy it, cook it, and then throw it in the trash. Your choice.
|Do you see these look |
nothing alike? You can't let
them see the box! Ever!
Aside from healthy eating, it is important/acceptable to be creative when dealing with a situation where your child may whine or complain or cry and you are not in the mood to hear it. This becomes harder to do once your child learns math/to tell time, so keep that in mind as you are whipping out your Baby Einstein flashcards. If something, like a car ride, is going to take a long time, you can tell a small child the ride will take Toy Story 3 and a Sing-A-Long video until you get there. Problem solved. An older child may see the road sign that says your destination is 95 miles away. If he has been able to figure out any point that a mile= a minute, then he's going to know that you are full of crap when you tell him the ride is "about and hour." If this happens, just insist that your child misread the sign and that it wont take as long at 95 minutes. Rarely will your kid think to look at the time and keep track that carefully. And if he does, just tell him he is remembering the wrong time. Bring snacks you wouldn't normally allow as a distraction.
|These children are happy in|
the car because their
parents loved them enough
to lie to them.