Thursday, August 22, 2013

Being One Is Not The Same As Having One, But It's A Blurred Line

I'm a little late to the party, but I still feel compelled to share some thoughts about this
Just FYI, this isn't Alan Thicke,
Growing Pain's Dr. Jason
Seavor.  I don't think he
would be amused.  At all.
summer's stuck-in-your-head-catch-yourself-singing-nasty-lyrics song.  There has been lots of buzz about both the song and its accompanying video.  Yes, Blurred Lines.  I would bet that by this point Robin Thicke himself is sick of singing it and hearing it.  Yeah well, serves you right dude, you started it.

I managed to ignore the song the first half of the summer.  This is mostly because I happened to, for some reason, only ever catch a bit or piece of it.  It never got my attention and I'm not a Robin Thicke follower, so I just didn't pay it much mind.  Then The Party stepped in.  He told me he had watched the uncensored video for the song when he went to see what the big deal was.  The big deal is that the video has mostly naked girls dancing around.  Teeny tiny bottoms and no tops.  Party seemed more amused by the Jimmy Kimmel spoof of the video (though no doubt he wasn't at all troubled by naked boobs in the other one).

Off I go to see if women everywhere should be outraged.  And then, before I found the video, I found the best thing!  Okay, not the "best thing," but way better than the video.  I found the Jimmy Fallon and The Roots sing along with Robin Thicke video.  Totally Beyawesome!  Jimmy Fallon and The Roots have a few videos like this.  They are in a little tiny room with classroom instruments and a guest "star" and they all sing whatever song together.  Jimmy Fallon could not be happier. Honestly, go watch these videos. 

So, after I see this video and have a sudden interest in Robin Thicke and The Roots (I am always impressed when people can actually perform live and do a good job) and wish I could be friends with Jimmy Fallon, I decide I should still go watch the uncensored video of the song.  I should have stuck with Jimmy and The Roots.

I don't even know where to start except to say the clearly the entire song and video was conceptualized and created by a room full of 15-year-old boys.  I bet it was like an AP project or something for them.  If I was Robin Thicke's wife I wouldn't even be annoyed he's all over naked girls, I would just be shaking my head and asking "Dude, what is wrong with you?"

The Blurred Lines video is horrendous (big, giant whistle for the video).  Here is why:
1.  It is poorly lip-synced.
2.  Despite the topless girls, the video isn't sexy.
3.  There doesn't seem be any actual reason for the girls to be topless, they are just dancing around.
4.  Even uncensored, you can't really hear all the words to the rap.
5.  I looked up the words to the rap - it's filthy. (The rap in The Roots video is great!!  And clever and cute).
6.  It's a boring, all white set.  Except for the silver mylar balloons that spell out "Robin Thicke has a big d*ck."  Really?!  Someone gave that the green light but still has their job?  You see why I think teenage boys were involved?  We are totally adding a smack to that whistle.
7.  Of course, they had to make a clean version, you can't show the original anyplace like MTV or VH1.

As I spouted off all the things wrong with the video to Boy and The Party, they laughed and laughed at me (Boy even posted several rude and mocking tweets about me and my opinions).  Pretty much, Party informed me that there are naked breasts in the video, so no one cares about that other stuff.  Boy then chuckled and elbowed Party, "But Dad, they can't show it on MTV."  (more snorting and laughing)  Then he looked at me and said "They play videos on MTV?" (side holding and chortling)  Yes, you guys are so funny!  Not.

As for the song itself, it certainly is catchy, no doubt.  There has been some buzz that it is a copy of Marvin Gaye's "Got to Give it Up".  You can also feel the "Kiss" by Prince vibe working with the falsetto/regular voice thing.  The "original," "non-tribute" part of the song, the rap, is a disaster.  As mentioned, the words are awful, it's not rapped well, and they have to bleep out so much of it, it's pointless.

For extra good measure, if you are not generally offended by the song's words, part-way through there is a line "You're the hottest bitch in this place."  Because that is inappropriate and offensive, when the song is played on some radio stations they voice over it with the word "ho." I don't even understand that.  It defies understanding.  "Ho" is not better!  (We could spend all day discussing the other words in songs that the radio stations, for some reason, thinks are fine for general listening).  Almost forgot!  "I feel so lucky, you wanna hug me.  What rhymes with hug me?"  That last part is for those of us who didn't "get" what he was trying to say (no doubt, more work by teenage boys).  In an odd twist of things, Robin doesn't come out say "f*ck me" even in the uncensored video.  Apparently, that is over the line.  I guess the line is less blurred when it comes to the f-bomb.  Who knew?

Oh yeah, the final verse throws in marijuana smoking.  Really, this song has something for everyone.  And PS, where is Tipper Gore when you need her?

I guess Robin is not happy that
our view of his (possibly) big
business is being blocked.
*Song is not appropriate for children.
*Video is poorly done and stupid.  
*Jimmy Fallon version of song is very fun (ignoring that the song is still not really g-rated, but ev).
*I really want to go see The Roots now (who are from Philadelphia, so clearly we are meant to be friends).
*I kind of want to know if Robin Thicke does have a big d*ck.
*Please know that I am using the work "d*ck" instead of you know, the real word, because I don't want to start getting spam comments or obscene e-mails when this post comes up for people searching for "big d*cks."  Ditto "f*ck."
*Jimmy Kimmel's spoof of the video is funny, but there are no naked breasts if that affects your decision to watch it.

The End


  1. The video is trash, but there is hope - see what teens thought of it:
    Thank you for the Jimmy Kimmel version - MUCH better, and I could actually understand the rap part (most of it ) and it talked about how he thinks his woman is so fine he put a ring on it - so that's good, so how did it get in a song by this bouchedag? (see how I did that so you don't get obscene emails?)
    The whole thing is over-rated and he got his wish for it to be talked about. Bleh.

  2. ok, I PROMISE I can read. Sorry it's Jimmy Fallon. oops, my bad. :(


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