Don't Worry About Me, Not That Anyone Was

If I depended on my family
to ransom me, they'd be
getting pieces of me back
one at a time.  And still
probably wouldn't get
what was going on.

I have not been kidnapped.  I guess that's good since no one was even looking for me in my 3+ month internet absence.  No surprise since no one who lives with me misses me when I am actually physically gone from the house.  I'd like to do a test to see how long it would take someone to text me "Where are you?"  I think the time would depend on how close my absence corresponded to the need for a meal.

Essentially, if you are a kidnapper, what I am telling you is that kidnapping me would be a pretty fruitless endeavor.  One, I really don't have the kind of cash or prizes a kidnapper is looking for and two, it would take ages for my family to notice me missing and even longer for them to start wondering where I was.  A kidnapper might leave a phone message you say?  That's even more of a long shot.  The people who live here don't quite get the whole check the phone messages thing.

I don't want you to think that my family doesn't love me.  I'm sure they do, it's just that my children are so secure in my love for them that they can't imagine I wouldn't return (talk about misplaced trust).  That said, if I am always home when you get home or leave you a message when I won't be, can you not muster up the slightest concern for me?  Would it kill you text me that you're home and wondering where I am?  Honestly, you can't humor me a little and run up to me when I return and cry out "Oh thank God you've come home Mom" - how hard would that be?

The Party is another story.  If I'm not there when he gets home he will call or text to see

This kind of exchange
might be why my kids are
afraid to text to
see where we are when
we are not home.

where I am.  I don't think he's so much worried about my well-being as much as making sure that I am indeed going to come back.  He is well aware of my access to a car and money.  Sometimes, if we end up somewhere in two cars, I make him take both kids (if they've been really annoying) home.  This usually makes Party twitch a little.  Partly because it's his turn to be in the car with both kids and partly because he's a little nervous about where I'm going.  He usually says "Okay, I'll take them, but you know you have to come home, right?"  I just smile and say "Of course."  I give him that sweet, fake smile though so he worries the whole way home.  I don't know why, I just do.

Anyhoo, so I've been gone from Donkeys since the beginning of April.  I would like to say that I was busy doing something really important and interesting - but I try to not lie outright to people.  Donkeys had become sporadic since I had been doing Babble Pets, but I stopped doing that at the end of March.  And by stopped, I mean I quit before they fired me.  Apparently, I do not have quite a big enough following to justify keeping me.  While I have been licking my wounds a little, I am pretty glad to not be writing for Pets anymore (though Babble in general is pretty cool).  It is really picture-driven and I am just not one of those people who oohs and aahs over pets dressed in costumes.  On the upside, I did get to write a lot of captions for these pictures.  I love writing captions.  I totally crack me up.  I don't know if anyone else was amused, but I enjoyed the hell out of my own cleverness. #noonepaysyoutoamuseyourself.

Please note my use of the hashtag.  Hashtags also crack me up.  They are like little sidebars that you'd whisper under your breath if you were talking.  I actually like hastags better than the  actual use of Twitter, Home of the Hashtag.  Facebook has hashtags now, but I am not sure why.

So, I am back for a summer of fun DTC posts.  I am trying to think of ways to jazz up the blog and get more followers - feel free to offer suggestions.  I love my donkey logo and the blog name, but other than that, I am game for trying new things.  I have been missing writing DTC and all the fun comments people leave for me.  So, now you guys are stuck with me again.

Next up... I'll catch you up on what's been going on around here.  Spoiler alert: Boy graduates from High School, his parents don't like it.