|This is merely a representation|
exaggerated for humor purposes.
I would never act like this.
I wouldn't. You don't know.
I signed on to be the mom of children. Chil-dren. Not grown-ups. *I'm* a grown-up (for argument's sake)!! How can I be expected to parent what is essentially a contemporary? I mean, he is starting college and I am practically just out of college - how can I be his parent? Oh? What's that you say? I got out of college almost 25 years ago? Are you sure? That just does not sound right.
Sigh. I don't see how it's fair that I want to be the mother of people I can pick up and cuddle and kiss whenever I want and instead I have a daughter who towers over me and a son whose whiskers rub on my face when I kiss him. Don't get me wrong, I am well aware of the benefits of older children. Lots of great things, not the least of which is that I can go wherever I want pretty much whenever I want and don't need a babysitter. Don't think that's not a dream. But still, I liked it better when we all agreed I knew best and people begged for my attention.
...Two days later
I didn't finish the post before we left for orientation. And now I'm back. And I still think the
|You should have seen the|
students helping with this.
All cheery and spirited and
welcoming. Like that was
going to distract me from
being freaked out.
Oh, and as the parent, you are supposed to pay the bills and fill out the forms, but you can only do that when your student signs into the system and clicks on the "let my parents in to pay you" option. The law prohibits colleges from giving you any information about your student, but you are still supposed to be completely responsible for making sure everything is taken care of and that your student's account has the proper funds for tuition, books and food. You are supposed to do this in a non-helicopter parent way. Essentially, everything I found out at orientation that I am supposed to take care of, I can only do if my kid remembers to check his university e-mail and tell me. Sounds like an awesome system.
|Poor Guy didn't even know how|
ridiculous his question sounded.
It's sad when people are in
denial. Not everyone can be
emotionally healthy like I am.
So friends, for those of you a ways off from college, don't worry. There is always a chance your kid won't get into college and then you won't have to be all freaked out that you have a kid in college. Because that would make it better, right? Or, if that sounds like maybe it could end poorly, push your kid to do well and get into a good college, but start upping your drinking now.