|Luckily, I do have a blog!!|
The party starts out just fine. Well, I assume fine. I assume there was no hidden message that The Party and I and two of our friends were seated with the 20-something cousins. Yes, essentially we were at the "kid table." On the plus side, this table was closest to the bar. For some unknown reason Barbara and her husband were seated at an adult table. Whatever.
|I wish you could see how|
truly awesome it is, but at
least you get the idea.
Suddenly, Barbara decides she and I need a drink. She whacks my wand-grabbing hand (PS - ow) and grabs me and off we go to the bar leaving Party to play with his wand by himself (not that wand - we are out in public remember). Completely out of character, Barb tells the bartender we want shots of vodka. Bartender says they are not serving shots (what kind of party is this). Without even skipping a beat, Barb says, we'll have two vodka on the rocks (she is so smart). The bartender goes to make them (with a puss I might add) and I fake whisper to Barb "minus the rocks." Well, we are wildly amused by ourselves. The bartender? Not amused. He then gives us the 2 smallest vodka on the rocks ever. Ev-er. About and inch of ice and and half-inch of vodka. Not wanting to start trouble, we just eye him and go to walk away.
Right at this time The Party strolls up to the bar and orders vodka on the rocks. Seeing the tail end of what happened to us, he is only too happy to show us his grown-up size vodka on the rocks (obviously the bartender hates women). At this point I say "Shut up and just give me back my wand." You should sit down for this next part. Party says "I gave it away. I didn't think you wanted it." I know!!! My jaw dropped too. I am still stunned when I repeat it. What do you mean you didn't think I wanted it?!?! First off, was I not just jumping up and down trying to get it back? Secondly, what in the 25 years Party has known me would lead him to believe I, under any circumstances, wouldn't want that or any other magic light-up wand? It's like he doesn't know me at all. The only thing that would have made me want that wand more was if it had a whistle attached to it.
|...and the kingdom|
sigh of relief.
*Bat Mitzvah / Bar Mitzvah: for any of you who might not know what I am talking about, here is the Reader's Digest version: In Judaism, during Shabbat (Sabbath) services on Saturday mornings, a portion from the Torah is read each week. It is considered an honor to read from the Torah and it is only given to Jewish adults. A bar/bat mitzvah is when a child turns 13 and is considered (religiously) an adult. After months of preparation and practice they help lead the service and get the honor of reading from the Torah for the first time. It is a very big religious milestone. The accomplishment is usually followed by a celebration. These celebrations range from casual to extravagant depending on what the family wants and what is the local custom. What I have written about took place during the party. I don't want you to think this kind of thing goes on during services at synagogue. Of course, if people did think that, I bet a lot more people would come to synagogue.
As is our custom around here, I want to point out that since the above paragraph can count as either a learning experience or an adult conversation, you should feel free to act smug and condescending to those around you since you have been spending your time wisely, not merely fooling around on the internet.