Instead I decided to find "news" stories that make the annoying people I encountered today seem less annoying. Notice I didn't say "not annoying" because these are news stories, not magic stories. I think actually what I have found are stories for one of my favorite games News/Not News.
For those of you just joining us, this is a game where I tell you about a "news" story that actually isn't news. We then ponder why someone who gets paid money thought it was. Trust me, it's very entertaining and we never run out of material.
|They have the same pursed lips.|
Maybe Farrah is the Lost
Kardashian. Now THAT
would be news!
Apparently, more important than the fact that Herman Cain is not particularly well-spoken and he cheats on his wife is that he quotes from Pokemon. Pokemon 2000 the movie to be exact. Despite the Not News nature of the story, one does have to wonder how Herm comes to be quoting Pokemon. This is too stupid even for a whistle. I am giving it an eye roll and wishing Herm good luck now that he has more time on his hands to watch Pokemon.
In Michigan, they do not like gay apparel. That is correct, no gay apparel allowed. The Cherry Knoll Elementary School changed the words to 'Deck the Halls' so that the kids would not sing the word gay. There were some 1st and 2nd graders giggling at the word gay, so the teacher changed the words to say "don we now our bright apparel. The school's Facebook page (yes FB page) was inundated with complaints about the change. Seems the people in Michigan like a little bit of gay apparel, so the music teacher changed it back. It's good world hunger has been solved so that reporters have time to report on stuff like this. To sum that up for you: teacher was fed up with silliness, changed the words to a song to solve problem. Bedlam ensued and the original wording was reinstated. Definitely Not News.
|Fox News gives new meaning|
to the phrase
When I read the plethora of Not News stories I am usually struck by the fact that there are people out there earning a living writing about this stuff and they aren't even doing it in a mocking way. They are writing like this stuff is newsworthy or has a point. What I want to know is where can I sign up? I could write about stupid stuff all day. How hard can it be to report on information that is of no use to the outside world and barely of any interest or use to the people it's happening to? I could absolutely come up with 500 words on why I have been know to throw out socks once the pile of unmatched ones gets too big.
Hey! My eye stopped twitching. I was cured by other people's stupidity. Awesome. A cure that has an endless supply.