Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Don't Judge A Book By Her (Leathered) Cover

Okay, just so we start off on the right foot, I am not talking about myself.  We'll get to who I'm talking about in a minute.  First let me just say "Hey Y'all!  How have you been?"  If I wanted to go all southern on you I would have said "How have all ya'll been?"  But, I think one y'all is plenty.  So, moving on.

I was busy reading
that's why I haven't
been writing.  You
don't know, it could
be true.
It was brought to my attention this past weekend, that there has only been one post in May.  As it is currently May 30th, that probably doesn't make me look all that industrious.  While I was pondering my friend's comment, one of DTC's Facebook frequent commenters pointed out that she has been needing a post.  She was very nice about it, but I could hear the implied "What's with the lazy?"  Sigh.  So much for flying under the radar.

There just hasn't seemed to be much to write about lately that everyone else isn't already writing about.  I guess I have just been having writer's block.  I could have written about SB's myriad softball games where her team has lost a lot to a little, but that did not seem all that amusing.  Well, it's a little amusing to watch her practice swings when she's up at bat because she has a whole Hunter Pence thing going with the crazy swing.

So, to get back in the swing (get it, swing!? bahahaha) of things before it's time again to hear about me getting my children ready for their respective summer activities, I thought I would share with you some of the news I've found troubling.  As we have discussed before, there is something wrong with people (but not us).  It truly never ceases to amaze me.  Worse, a lot of these people are famous and/or make a lot of money despite this.

This is the color I go for when
I am roasting marshmallows.
For those of you who may not have caught the "news" story a couple weeks ago, a woman was arrested for having her 5-year-old spend time in a tanning bed.  This was discovered when the little girl had reported to school with a very bad sunburn.  Let me tell you, even if she did put the girl in a tanning bed (says she didn't) and even if she is tanorexic, that does not even come close to being the problem here.  Please go see the impromptu video interview of her.  It's 5 minutes long, but about 2 minutes will do you.  I can't believe Child Services hasn't stepped in even before the sunburn incident.  I can't decide if she's drunk, high, bat crap crazy, or a combination.

Please explain to me what knucklehead arrested this child in the first place, let alone jailed her for missing too much school?  A high school junior in Texas was held in contempt of court and jailed for having 10 unexcused absences from school.  Not her parents, nor any adult responsible for her.  Oh yeah, this child takes AP and college level courses.  She also works full and part-time jobs to help support herself and two siblings.  How is it that when school reported these absences there was no one who met with this girl or any adult first, before arresting her?  We have all sorts of actual criminals who belong in jail but aren't.  This poor girls was.  Giant whistle and smack for her school and local police and court system.  Lovely hug and air kisses to the people in 49 states and 18 countries who have donated over $100k to help her.

He's only been with all those
other women because he
doesn't know we are a couple.
There are some stories I am going to save you from reading.  If you see the headlines, just imagine me making a buzzer sound and move on.  They seem like maybe they could possibly be interesting, but they are totally not.  There is no story.  You can use the time I am saving you on something important like eating or napping.
Jessica Simpson's People magazine cover with her baby may have been Photshopped.
A North Dakota woman married herself in a ceremony attended by friends and family.
In Details magazine Adam Levine shares that he's been promiscuous because he loves women so much.

In case any of you were wondering how you could get painfully thin, you can go check out some of Kelly Ripa's favorite snack foods.  What they don't tell you is that she probably only eats one serving of each (there's 5 of them) every month and no actual meals.  But, what's really annoying, is that one of her favs includes lavender honey she makes herself.  Really Kelly?  In between your 10 jobs, husband and 3 kids you have time to make lavender honey?  If that is true, you really should just keep that to yourself.  Do you want everyone to hate you?  Whistle.

Lastly for today, I have a small dilemma.  I am not sure if I am insulted or not.  An old friend/boyfriend from high school told me that he recalled spending time on the phone with me just listening to me talk.  As the information was shared via e-mail I don't know if he meant that I rambled on or (and I think this is what he meant) that he so enjoyed the sound of my voice he liked to just listen to it endlessly.  The Party thinks this is hysterical (he still walking around chuckling) and refuses to admit it could be the latter.  Not even speaking to The Party.  I'll let you know if I end up being angry at ambiguous statement maker.


  1. Perhaps he should talk to some of your teachers. They probably all have the same take. I, myself, LOVE to listen to you. You are a genius.
    Love, Mom

  2. I'm thinking you may need to trade your whistle in for an air horn, as some of these folks need a serious wake up call, and you may pass out from blowing your whistle so much.
    Since I love reading your posts, I'm going with your thought on the phone calls. :)

  3. Oh DTC I have really been missing you!!! I know you have been very busy, but we need to get you on a more regular posting schedule. Hi Sue (hahaha)!!!
    xoxo LG

  4. Missed you, DTC! Did you hear about North Carolina and their law about predicting rising sea levels? I'll tell you what... If that's how it works, I'm moving to North Carolina! When we're completely under water here on the Texas coast, NC will still be nice and dry! {snicker}


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