|See, Braille allows Helen|
to read and smell flowers
at the same time.
The other night I wanted to read in bed, but Party had already gone to sleep. I have a little light right above my part of the bed, but I always worry it will bother him. So, I don't turn on the light and I don't read. Once I got into bed, Party sort of woke up (probably because I had to wrestle one of the 4 pillows away from him so I could at least have one) and said something. I don't remember what it was, but I recall it was a little crabby. I told him my Braille plan. He was not even the least little bit appreciative of the effort I was making to be considerate. I mean, if I didn't care about him and his sleep, I could just turn on lights whenever I want and I wouldn't even have to learn Braille. The Party woke up enough to stare at me and ask who even thinks of stuff like that. And, he says it like it's not an awesome idea!
You would think he would be more receptive of my ideas since the last time he poo-pooed one of them we lost millions (I don't know if it was really millions, but it was more than zero, which is what we got). Several years ago, I was lamenting that at cocktail-type parties it's hard to hold your drink and a little plate of food and still eat. You need an extra hand. I came up with a plate (designs and all) that would have a hole in it that you could fit your drink in; the plate would hold food and a drink. I designed one for wine glasses and one for regular glasses/cups. Because my idea was not inside the box (where Party is comfy) Party did not rush right out and do tons of research and get my plates manufactured. Clearly, he had lost track of the fact that I am about the ideas. I am management, not labor. Fast forward a few years, I see an entire collection, like I envisioned, at Target. I have since seen similar ones elsewhere as well. I am still waiting on my "You were right."
In case my two examples are not showing you how I am using my powers for good, here are some examples of bad ideas, which clearly highlight how good mine are:
|I am not really feeling those|
eyebrows too much either.
2. Chicken Pox lollipops. Yes, you read that correctly. We will give that a whistle. And smack. And big giant buzz (make a loud ehhhhhhhh noise in your head). You really have to go read this. "Let's try this sentence on for size: I just gave my kid a pre-licked lollipop sent to me by a stranger I met on the internet!." This totally skeeved me out, so I know all my germaphobe friends are DYING and rubbing sanitizer on their hands (and/or entire bodies) while they are reading it.
3. New Coke, pajama jeans, Epilady, toupees.