I Am So Cutting Edge

Before I discuss all the ways (one) in which I am cutting edge, I just want to revisit the whole teacher thing.  You know from my last post that I am all about teachers.  I love me some teachers.  But, here's the thing...there are a few issues.  I don't want to blame all teachers; it's probably just a select few evil ones who decide on world-wide curriculum.

This is the extent of
my math ability.

I would say that my main complaints are math-focused.  Everyday Math to be exact.  Long story short, people suck at math so educators decided to find a better way to teach math; something more intuitive.  Awesome.  We can all get on board with that.  After that is where I part ways with Everyday Math.  Aside from teaching kids to count in their head the way they would count money, i.e., big numbers first, the rest is a big disaster.  Okay, it's not a big disaster if you don't care about looking like you're an idiot to your 7 year old when you try to explain subtraction and are met with a look of pity and disdain.


Children no longer "borrow," they "redistribute."  Complete bullshit.  It doesn't matter that it's not really borrowing, your 2nd grader understands the concept of borrowing, she does not have a f#*@ing clue what the word "redistribute" means.  Next - lattice method multiplication.  Problem one - kids don't know what a lattice is so calling it that doesn't conjure up any connection for them.  Problem two - you already can't read their smudgy, dull, indecipherable pencil numbers, why are we making it worse by asking them to make a diagonal grid in a one-inch space.  And then have them put the numbers into the tiny diamonds?

Wait.  There's a way
to check your work?

I could next go on about the meaninglessness of advanced math but I fear perhaps I will come across unstable or unduly bitter (too late?), so I will just move on to the actual topic of the post.  My cutting edgedness.  And my ability to make up my own words, like "edgedness."


Anyway, so here it is...Ta Da!!!...I am now on Twitter.  I figured out how to get on all by myself and set everything up.  I really don't know what I am supposed to do over there, I mean you can't even "like" anyone's comments, but I am so 21st century blogger now.  I had a personal account which I never used, but while I was fooling around last night, I did comment on something Boy wrote.  One of his friends "favorited" it (a lame-ass substitute for "like") and by morning Boy had erased my comment.  I considered commenting on the fact he did that, but figured it would spur on teenage unpleasantness.


My next big accomplishment will be switching my domain name to Google and then making my URL a ".com" versus a "blogspot.com."  That ought to send me over the edge (past cutting edge if you will) trying to figure it out.  If I do not have to be hospitalized/medicated after that I want to figure out how to get the formatting on the actual blog to behave.   I would ask The Party to help me, but, one - he's still in Paris, and two - it will likely devolve into our usual conversation which is "You're stupid" "No, you're stupid."  Said with love of course.

The Blue Hen wants you
to know it's important to
go to at least "1" class a week.

If you want to appear old and not cutting edge, then I recommend that you walk around during a tour of your college campus with your child and point out what used to be in each of the spots mentioned on the tour.  This will make your child roll his eyes and make the tour guide wish you would stop talking.  LG (of New Orleans fame) and I took our 11th graders on a tour of University of Delaware (where we both went, as did our husbands).  We had a lovely visit with each other and the boys liked the school, but we definitely did not come off as being hip and cool.  On the upside, there was one set of parents who kept hugging and kissing, while their son stood off to the side trying to pretend he wasn't with them.  We were definitely way less embarrassing than them, so that was something.  PS - go Blue Hens.