|A simple little shack like this|
is all I am looking for. I'm
not picky, I can rough it.
As I have said before, I need a way to make more money. Or any. As fate would have it, Smartass Blogger hasn't turned out to be super lucrative, which is a total bummer. Back in the olden days, didn't courts have jesters? Those guys lived pretty good. Smartass is essentially the modern-day version of that without the harlequin-styled full-body stocking with pointy toes and bells. One might say the sophisticated version. Anyway, until I can make some progress on getting Smartass made into a national cabinet position (apparently the economy and health care are more pressing - whatever), I have to think of something else.
|I am supposed to be|
naked AND hurry up?
I don't think so.
So, some other jobs I thought I could do that would make me a lot of money were professional baseball player (I can catch and throw and stand there as good as the next guy), sportscaster (I am sure my commentary would be far more interesting and germane), and Emmy or Oscar host (like I couldn't do a better job than some of those hacks). Notice, I know my own limits and did not say Tony host. Neil Patrick Harris is beyawesome (beyond awesome, make a note of word usage for the future), funny and can sing. I definitely couldn't beat him out for the job.
You may be wondering why I don't just go out and get a regular job. Well, that is because I don't want to. More specifically, I don't want to work hard and save my money up over time. I am looking for a short-term, high-return kind of job, hence the above list. And because I am realistic in my goals, you'll notice I didn't just say I hoped I won the lottery. I mean I do hope it, but I know that is not likely to happen.
|See...I told you.|
Wait!! That's how I can make a lot of money! I will re-write the Shades of Grey books, translating them from insipid and impossible to realistic and cutting edge. Characters will say things like "You want to put that where?" and "I certainly hope you washed that." The sex scenes can have a reader participation part, like Mad Libs. Cha-ching is all I have to say about this idea. Pure gold. Beach house here I come.