Well I, For One, Am Shocked And Surprised

How was that ever going
to work out?  He's like
9 feet bigger than she is?

Some of you may not have heard yet, but Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphreys are...wait for it...gasp...getting divorced.  It is very disheartening when people who been together for days and days just can't make a go of it.  I mean both their names start with "K" and everything.  And they're both good looking and have a lot of money.  And they both love public attention.  If you have all that and can't make your marriage work, how can the rest of  us hope to make it past the 72 day mark?


Wait?  What?  The rest of us did make it past the 72 day mark?  Phew.  That's a relief.  I will also throw in there, WTF??  I have been in fights with The Party that have lasted longer than 72 days.  Who gets divorced after 72 days?  I'll tell you who.  People who knew they shouldn't have spent a million plus dollars to get married in the first place.  Take a lesson from Julia Roberts.  She realized Kiefer Sutherland was not worth marrying, so she didn't.


This article I am giving you the link to is the only one I saw where I felt a smidgen of sympathy.  Apparently, the whole divorce thing was a surprise to Kris who said he loves his wife and is devastated.  If that upset him, it can't make him feel any better that, despite a pre-nup, the divorce papers Kim filed ask the court to bar Kris from filing for spousal support.  She's kind of just putting it out there that she thinks he'll go after her money.  Gotta say, surprise divorce and gold digging accusation - a little tiny bit bitchy.


I mentioned the divorce on the DTC Facebook page and FB friend Erin thought I should do a "things that last longer than Kim's marriage" list.  She started me out with a few that I wanted to share and give her credit for because they were pretty funny.  Here they are:
1. My can of hairspray.  2.  The actual wedding.  3.  her sex tape with Ray J.  Bahahahaha!
Feel free to share some of your own items that would be good for the list.

No one noticed when they
hired her that she's got the
crazy eyes working?

In news to put the Kardashian divorce in perspective...in Los Angeles, a substitute teacher was fired because she basically said that the Jews run the Federal Reserve and the banks and should be run out of the country.  When asked if her statement might be a little bit racist, she said no.  It's not racist, because it's true.  Further, any time you talk about the Jews now, you are considered racist.  Getting harder and harder to be a hater these days.  There was also some buzz that she was just exercising her right to free speech.  The L.A. Unified School District appreciated that, but said they had no interest in continuing to employ someone whose behavior is intolerant, disrespectful or discriminatory.  


Let me just add that I am Jewish and don't own or run a bank.  Further, I don't even know any Jewish people who do.  Clearly, I am hanging out with the wrong Jewish people.  Believe you me, having friends with access to the Federal Reserve spells V-E-G-A-S and as you can see, I'm not there.  So clearly, the rumors of vast Jewish wealth and monetary control have been somewhat exaggerated.  

Check it out!  Mac and cheese
pizza!  There was no mention
on the list of either, so I
assume this gets a thumbs up.

In other surprising news, I just read an article that said donuts are bad for you and raise your cholesterol.  Really?  All this time I thought they were good for you.  Turns out, not so much.  No wonder the pounds aren't melting away.  Thank goodness people are getting paid good money to test stuff like this (and others getting paid to write about it), that up until now, has been pretty much a mystery.  And, not to upset you, but also on the list of foods to take out of your diet to improve your health...wait for it...fried foods and fast food.  What are we supposed to eat?  Do you think when I found out I am the only Jewish person who didn't own a bank I wanted to comfort myself with an apple?  No.  I did not.


I am trying to think of more things to write in this post because the longer I am at the computer, the longer I am not eating Halloween candy.  SB has a giant bowl of candy (she has twice what Boy has) so she won't really notice anything missing.  On the flip side, knowing my kids, they have organized their bowls in some way so as to notice the movement or absence of anything from the bowl.  Why can't these children use their powers for good?  Okay, the candy is winning...