I'm The Emily Post of Travel Etiquette

While I was away from DTC this spring I went on a couple of trips.  While certainly I had a good time (Disney with the kids, Las Vegas with friends), I am starting to believe that there are a lot of people who missed the day at school where we learned how to conduct ourselves in public.  And by "we" I mean the clueless people that are not me or about 7 other people on the planet.

Luckily for all, I have taken notice of this and am here to offer tips for comportment that will not only make travel more pleasant for everyone (or at the very least, me) but will undoubtedly keep a few of the more ignorant people of the planet from getting their asses kicked.  I think I am going to say that this is a PSA of sorts.  I might even count it as community service.

So, without further ado, here are some handy travel tips.

1.  Try not to be an assh*le (that's really an everyday tip, not just a travel one, but we'll leave it as a travel one for now).  We all are

Please note the group
in the front left.  They
have stopped to chat
right in the middle.
Whistle and smack. 

important and are trying to get somewhere or see something.  Try to wrap your head around that.

2.  Keep to the right.  Especially important in a crowd.  As I have told my children when we were in Disney (as well as other places), other people are not to be treated like video game obstacles that you try to beat out and/or dodge around on your way to the next location.

3.  Do not gesture wildly when you are in a crowd.  Especially true if you have a cigarette in your hand (talking to you people in the casino and on city streets). *more on cigarettes later

4.  Do not walk 17 people across so no one can get by you.

5.  You don't have to rush, but walk so there is any hope for the rest of us behind you to get to our destinations some time in the same day.

6.  Just because you have a stroller, scooter or wheelchair does not mean you don't have to look where you are going.  Manners are for everyone.  (PS - I still have the scar on my ankle where the guy ran up the back of my leg in his electric wheelchair - not exaggerating).

7.  If we find ourselves in each other's way, the way it works is that we BOTH say excuse me and go around each other.  The way it doesn't work is that I say excuse me and you keep pushing past me.  Also, if YOU bang into someone, you have to say excuse me and make sure you haven't knocked the person over!

8.  If someone holds the door for you - say thank you!  Conversely, hold the door for the person behind you.  Even if you have to wait the extra 5 seconds to do so. 

9. * Las Vegas/casino-specific rule:  I understand that you are thrilled to be allowed to smoke indoors.  I am sure that it sucks to stop what you are doing to go smoke outside in the weather.  That said, just because you are allowed to smoke inside does not mean that it's polite (or f%*#ing necessary) for you to sit down next to me and hold your lit cigarette right by my face or for you to blow smoke towards me or the crowd in general.  It's not nice!  Also, how are you going to walk around the whole hotel and casino with a lit cigarette and no ashtray?  You are flicking ashes all over the place.  What is wrong with you?  Were you people raised in a barn? 

Picture me to the left of this woman.
Now picture that I was there first.
Whistle and smack.
And accidental shove on my way by when I get up to move.

I guess that's about it.  I have some bathing suit-specific rules for some travelers, but that's a whole other post.  Let's just say though that a skimpy bikini top is not for everyone.