Friday, December 28, 2012

Things That Will Never Happen In The New Year: A Guide To Aiming Low

This is complete bullshit.  When
you turned the toaster on, the
metal bars would be right against
the cheese.  Burn and Fail.
It's that time of year where lots of people are making New Year's Resolutions.  I never do that.  I don't know why, I just never have.  And, even if I want to lose weight or exercise more, I refuse to jump on that bandwagon full of everyone else joining the gym and Weight Watchers as soon as the new year starts.  I can't bear the superior and condescending looks from the "regulars."  I like to wait until like mid-January or so and then act as if anything new I'm trying is just happenstance.

Of course, all the Pinterest alpha-moms don't need New Years resolutions.  They are always posting all the awesome and wonderful things they are already doing to make their lives easier, more organized, healthier and all-around more special.

Since I have no hope of ever achieving that level of crazy awesomeness, I decided to create a slide show of some things from Pinterest that I will never ever ever try to recreate.  While you look through the slide show, you should be hearing (in your head) Taylor Swift's "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" only you have to change the words... "you-oo are never ever getting a make-it-yourself-headboard, you-oo are never ever getting a 7 part luh-unch..."  You can ad-lib the rest.  Be creative.

Some notes about this slide show:
1.  Please be extremely impressed.  It took all my smartness to work around my minimal computer savvy to make this AND figure out how to get it here to Blogger.  It was hard and I needed a little rest after.  And a drink.

2.  The only way you can see my very-amusing-to-me captions is to click on the little "i" beneath the pictures.  Also, you need to go to full screen to see all the text.  My smartness only extended so far and I couldn't get them to just show below the picture.  But, you should still be impressed with me.

Here's a tip for all of you when determining if a project or recipe is something you can reasonably handle...If the person telling you about said project or recipe has no stains on her clothes, her hair is done nicely and she starts her explanation with "all you have to do is..." then NO, this is not something you should try yourself.

Wishing you all a happy and healthy New Year!!!  Or, at the very least, a fun New Year!  xo DTC


  1. See, you ARE me! I never cook. I do like to look at nice foody things, though.

  2. That headboard is awesome. And will never happen. This is why I do not have a Pinterest account. I already feel bad enough about what I don't do.

    I do miss those damn butter cookies, though. They were the best.

  3. Not only do I not have time for making all this...Martha-ness, I don't have time to join Pinterest. Everything was cute and unrealistic in this house. I don't dust, why on earth would I create 10 item lunches with garnishes?! I'm close to being able to appreciate those things without feeling like a slob when seeing them....close, but not there yet.
    Kudos to you for your slideshow! I clicked the i and it kept the notes up for every slide, woo hoo! And I liked all of the comments of course. We obviously are long lost bffs or something. :D
    Happy New Year girl!!!

  4. Projects like this are precisely why I refuse to join Pinterest. All I would do is sit there for hours, thinking, "Ooh, that's a neat idea," but never actually DOING any of the projects. Facebook is enough of a time suck, thank you!

  5. This is coming from a self proclaimed lazy girl.

    I just made myself a brie, apple, cranberry mustard panini on multigrain bread. With a spinach and strawberry salad topped with a blush wine vinegar dressing. With a diet Dr Pepper. And I am currently planning a project that involves a curtain rod, some drapey fabrics and making a very cool looking headboard type thing. I also have those SAME lunch trays but my kids typically never get more than 6 things. I even make them for my 3 year old son, who is home with my everyday. His favorite is 'sushi' which is shredded carrots and raisins atop a peanut butter spread tortilla, which is wrapped around a banana and cut into small pieces that resemble sushi.

    Thing is. I love food. And making my home look like a boss. Laundry can suck it and also so can cleaning the bathroom. Also, I love food.

  6. Hilarious! Definitely going to use your tips when determining if a Pinterest pin is something I should try. (In a word, no. No, I should not try it. Yes, I mean all of them.)

    1. I believe I have pinned 4 billion things and made (cooked) 2.

  7. Love your slide show. I'm So Very Impressed! I can't even be bothered to look at most of the things I pin, much less consider if I have time to try them!


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