Urgent Update: Stinkbug Pandemic Causes Rise in Blood Pressure

Ucccchhhhhhh!!!  There was a tremendous stinkbug incident here today and I have to share so you will know what to tell the paramedics if I am unable to communicate due to my passing out or having a stroke.

I get in the shower, get completely wet with warm, toasty water and then look up. Stinkbug.  Right in the middle of the shower head.  Sooo grosssssss I can't even say.  I want to flick it off - but to where?  Bad enough it could touch my hand, but I am naked.  What if something goes wrong?  My blood pressure is going back up just telling you about it.  I could turn off shower, get out, get tissue, remove bug to toilet, flush and then resume shower.  But, now I am wet and cozy/toasty.  I will be cold if I get out.  But the bug can't stay or I will throw up.

I take my razor and use the handle to poke it to the ground.  Then, I take the shower head off and direct gross hateful bug to the drain.  I spray it hard and make sure its little legs aren't dangling on the grate.  Down the drain it goes.  I feel certain it's dead since it left its yucky stinkbug smell.  But no!!!  Just as I relax, I look down and that sucker is back!!!  Crawling towards my foot.  Ucchhhh!  Really, I am going to throw up.

Repeat shower head/bug down drain drill (because, honestly, I am not getting out and getting cold).  Now I continue with my shower, but every time I relax I get a quick burst of blood pressure-increasing adrenaline as I remember to look and make sure it's gone. 

Finally, I have moved on and start to shave under my arms (sorry for TMI, but we need it for the story) when suddenly I realize I am going to have a stroke because there is a bug crawling down my leg!!!!




So, as it turns out, just a blob of shaving cream running down my leg.  But still, very upsetting and alarming.

In closing, you can see that the ever-growing presence of these bugs (one might say pandemic) is a public health threat.  And, yes, I know, the word pandemic is really only used by people when they think they are smarter than every one and they want to show that they mean a really wide-spread epidemic.  But, it is fitting in this case.  This is VERY SERIOUS.  I mean, you cannot kill these bugs.  If you smush them they leave a smell that makes you gag and probably causes brain damage.  If you spray them with bug spray they just laugh and give you the finger.