Do You Really Want a Beer That Badly?

Don't worry, I won't let
the money change me.

Before we talk about beer, I just want to share some exciting news with you.  You know how a couple weeks ago I was talking about how I needed a way to make more money.  Or any.  Well, I found it!  As of October 1st, I will be doing some writing for Babble Pets.  If you want to help me not embarrass myself in front of my new friends (you know, when I only have like 3 hits and one is my mother), you can click here and here and go check out my newest posts.  Thanks!  Oh, and I figured out that if I use this money to put towards my beach house, it will only take 1000 months, give or take a few to fully pay for the house.  Not too shabby!

Moving on to beer.  I believe the need for new, delicious and cutting edge ways to make beer has veered dangerously into the arena of "freaks with too much free time who maybe smoked too much pot."  Yes, that is a harsh statement, but wait until you hear why I feel so strongly.  Rogue Ales is a brewery and Pub that has created...wait for it...beer using yeast from the brewmaster's beard!!!  That is correct, the company used brewmaster John Maier's beard hair (which PS has not been shaved since 1978 and I'm not kidding) to come up with a new yeast.

You would be essentially
running your tongue through
his beard and eating what you
 find.  But don't be grossed out.

The company had been unsuccessfully trying to develop new strains of yeast with little success.  Then they decided they would try to get creative with finding a new yeast to use.  Not sure how the next jump was into Maier's beard.  Don't worry though, Maier says it's not really gross because yeast is everywhere.  Here are the two things I take away from that statement.  One, I know where you can find yeast on people's bodies and none of those places seem like good places from which to create beverages.  Further, when the yeast gets out of hand, you need medication, so despite what Maier says, I'm going to have to be skeeved by beard beer.  Two, I then am wondering where exactly do we get any of the yeast that we use to bake or brew beer or whatever else you use yeast for?  You know what?  Don't tell me.  Just don't use any from someone's 35 year old beard.

This is the response I would
have expected from the prez
of Rogue Ales. 

Now, I did try to see if I could be open-minded about the beard beer.  I likened it to the new trend of people making cheese out of breast milk.  That didn't help me because I realized I don't feel that good about that either.  I am not sure why, because milk is milk, but it's just not working for me.  I will say though, I'd eat breast milk cheese before I would drink beard beer.  At least human milk is something that is supposed to be consumed.  Hair isn't.

My cousin Ronna is the president of The Beer Ladies of Westchester (PA).  Obviously, since she is a beer aficionado, we need to ask her what's up.  I will let you know what she says if she doesn't respond in the comments.  Questions for Ronna:  Should any sane person consider drinking beard beer?  Should the beer gods smite these Rogue Ale people for besmirching beer's good name?