Girls Gone Wild - Virginia Beach Edition

Very wild.  You will be jealous when you hear all about it.  Just to fill any new people in, last weekend I went away with 3 girlfriends for 4 days.  It was awesome. 


First, we got up whenever we wanted to and didn't make anyone breakfast.  We usually got around to lunch at about 2:30pm.  Dinner, 8:30-ish.  In between, we had happy hour and snacks.  Nobody whined, complained or interrupted what we were doing.  It was dreamy.


As promised, I will tell you about the Speedo guys.  These two guys in their early 20s come walking down the beach past us.  Everyone they pass is staring with dropped jaws.  Banana hammocks, sunglasses and nothing else.  They are looking straight ahead, walking very purposefully, and not talking to each other at all.  It was weird. My friend Chris got a front view picture with her phone.  That's a little blurry, but you get the picture.

I felt they were going for a naked
Terminator kind of look.

When finally the buzz dies down, a guy walks by carrying a pigeon on a leash.  I really cannot imagine why.  And, it wasn't even a particularly cute pigeon, it was just your garden variety ugly yucky pigeon.  I don't know where he went, but we never saw him pass back the other way.  The 2 Speedo guys though, they came back the other way.  Chris had her camera ready, so we have a great view of the back of the bathing suit.  Winning.  Who just walks along like this and acts like there is nothing out of the ordinary?  I will say, however, if you are going to sport a suit like this, at least they were built for it.

What?  You can't see the back of their suits?
That's because there wasn't one!!

This brings me to what appears to be a world-wide epidemic of mirror-less people.  Or people without friends to re-direct them in their fashion choices.  Just because a bathing suit comes in your size, doesn't mean you should wear it.  While there were not too many skankily dressed women (pleasant surprise), there were a lot of perfectly fine, normal looking women who were wearing very unflattering suits.  Even if you're thin, it's hard to look good in a skimpy bikini if you don't have a perfect body and work out.  Just saying.

Perfect, right?!?!

Moving on to other excitement.  We got to parasail and ride the banana boat.  The Party says I should stop saying "ride the banana boat" because it sounds obscene.  He can be very juvenile.  Anyway, parasailing was very cool and not scary at all.  The only thing I would recommend to you is to say "no" if they ask if you want to touch down at the end to have your feet dip into the water.  As fun and refreshing as that sounds, it's not.  As you gently touch down into the water, your feet cause water to spray into your face in a manner similar to a tidal wave.  You are essentially drowning yourself.  I am still spitting out ocean water.


Now that banana boat...super fun!  You get pulled behind the motor boat and try to hold on.  The water that constantly sprays in your face is way less tidal-wavy, so that's good.  That's main information.  The story behind the story here is that it's way harder to hold on when the person driving the boat is trying to get you to fall/fly off.  After about 5 minutes of holding on for dear life, you really want him to stop for a few minutes so you can regroup and try to get the feeling back in your arms.  To get the driver to stop you have to give the hand signal for stop.  You have to let go of the handle on the banana to do that.  Problem.

Those people are smiling because they are
going half as fast and bumpy as we were.

We did get the guy to stop and we pulled ourselves together.  It's very hard to hold on when you are laughing hysterically the whole time, which we were.  On the way back, the driver doubled his efforts to toss us.  He got 2 of the 3 of us.  That's when the real fun started.  Very funny to go flying into the water.  Less funny trying to climb back onto the banana.  It's inflatable.  Any place you try to put your foot to help give you some leverage as you try to pull yourself on, just pushes in.  You are stuck trying to pull yourself up by only your arms and you are trying to pull yourself up over your own head.  Exactly.  It's not painting a pretty picture is it?  Think sea cow.  The driver had to dive in the water, climb on the banana and pull us back on.  While we're laughing hysterically, not being that helpful.  That'll teach him.  Not liking having been thwarted by the one us who didn't fall off the banana, the captain pushed my friend off the actual boat once she was off the banana.  Water safety at its finest.


Vacation Summary
Going away with just friends and no kids - awesome.
Eating and drinking whenever you want and having someone bring it to you - awesome.
Parasailing - awesome.
Tidal wave near-drowning - less awesome.
Riding banana boat - awesome.
Having to be drug back on board like a big heap - less awesome.