I'm All Sunshine

My friend Kim got me a shirt
that says this.  Proof.

For those of you who don't know me, I am a ray of sunshine.  Husband says when I have to scream it at someone, it loses something  Whatever.  He's just jealous.  I am a dream to be around.  I mean honestly friends, don't I put a spin on what I tell you so you will not be upset when you hear things like you can get sick from pot brownies or sushi out of the Pacific might not be a good choice this month? 


I am like a modern-day Snow White.  I dress beautifully to clean around the house and I sing while I do it.  I am kind to animals and pick up after people with a smile.  Fine, so maybe not exactly like Snow White.  But still, I don't regularly smack anyone or throw things at the noisy birds outside my window (nature is extremely loud).


To better illustrate my point, I will list for you some people I KNOW I am more sunshine-y than.  This list does not include my immediate family, but I think we know it goes without saying.


1.  Moammar Gadhafi 
While some of you know that my son has accused me of being "mean like Hitler." I have not once taken over a country, had a hissy fit at Switzerland or killed people in the streets.  (please note that "mean like Hitler" and "ray of sunshine" sound a lot alike and I may have just misheard the boy).

I guess I would be
crabby too if I had
 this sideways Kate
Gosselin hairstyle.

2.  Rosie O'Donnell
I miss the old stand-up comedian, host of the Rosie O'Donnell Show, silly, fun Rosie.  This Rosie is perpetually pissed off.  You would think she would be a little more sunshine-y since she came out, but she's not.  I guess all the public support and love she got was annoying rather than cheery. 


3.  Howard Stern
You know I have issues with him.  He gets to say and do whatever he wants and people pay him an obscene amount of money to do it.  He often picks on and makes fun of people who are too stupid to get they are the butt of the joke (mean versus funny if you ask me).  Despite this, he is always whining about not really feeling the love from people.  Whistle. 




4.  Sara Palin
Now she's a tricky one.  At fist blush, she seems all sunshine-y and sweet, but really, not so much.  I truly want to believe she is not as dim as she seems, but she makes it hard.  I think she would seem nicer if she talked less.  I can't believe that no one who works for her has ever told to stop making public statements without first having them approved/edited/completely changed.


5.  Nicholas Cage and Eddie Murphy
They are tie and have the same condition.  They (more Eddie) are in a bunch of silly and funny movies but are always in a mood and bent out of shape.  I don't know why.  People think you are funny.  You get paid a lot of money to do a job you like.  Maybe chill out a little and work on being gracious.


6.  Cruella de Ville

I have never eyed anyone's
pet as my future coat.

Not one time did I ever make a coat out of puppies.  I am not a pet person, but I would never make a coat out of puppies.  Not even a hat.  Sunshine, right?


I could go on all night with this list.  There are just so many people that I am a brighter ray of sunshine than.  The only person I can think of who is more sunshine is Julie Andrews.  She is just nice and she always plays nice characters.  And she does it without making you want to smack her.  When that weirdo group was remaking The Sound of Music, she did not say one mean thing about them messing up what was already perfect.  She made some benignly supportive and sweet statement.

Okay then, so Julie Andrews and I.  Sunshine.


**Note to my many friends from the Grammar Police I know it should be "than whom I am a bigger ray of sunshine." (versus ending the sentence with than) - but we're not snooty like that here.  And, I don't want to be on anyone's most annoying list.